Tag Archives: weirdness

How The Right Music Makes Things Weirdly Funny

Today, I wanted to feature a very creative video from Youtube that’s always made me laugh, but has also puzzled me.

This is a scene from the 2005 film War of the Worlds (loosely adapted from the book by H.G. Wells), but instead of the original musical track for this scene, someone has put the theme music for The Benny Hill Show, a comedy variety show, in its place.

For some reason, this combination of scary/serious events plus this upbeat, whimsical music makes for hilarity–I find myself giggling even though I know I shouldn’t.

I’ve shown this to people who know what kind of show the music’s from, as well as people who’ve never even heard of Benny Hill, and both groups responded with laughter the same way I did. What is it about this music that makes this grim scene so funny?

I think it has something to do with how the music and visuals combine in a movie to affect our perception of the events. The original scene is terrifying and dramatic, not just because of the visuals, but because of the ominous, grand music in the background; putting the more comical music with it helps us take the visuals less seriously.

What do you think? What are some other reasons this video might make us laugh?

The Reigning Queen of Mondegreens: My Misheard Lyrics

Despite my love of literature and music, and despite my aptitude for both subjects, I am laughably terrible at deciphering verbal words, whether spoken or sung. Mumbled speech or not looking directly at a person’s lips while they are speaking leads to hilarious misunderstandings. And, as you’ll see in the following blog post, trying to decipher sung lyrics from a song can result in awesomely bad mondegreens.

Definition of a Mondegreen

From Dictionary.com:

mondegreen: a word or phrase resulting from a misinterpretation of a word or phrase that has been heard. (Origin: 1954; coined by Sylvia Wright, U.S. writer, from the line “laid him on the green,” interpreted as “Lady Mondegreen,” in a Scottish ballad.)

Some Examples


Song: “Shotgun” – Jr. Walker and the All-Stars; tune video to about 0:25

Actual Lyric The Lyric I Heard
“Shoot ‘im ‘fore he run now” “Shoot up Orville Redenbacher”

Upon hearing this song for the first time as a 10-year-old, I turned to my dad and asked, in this horrified voice, “Why do they wanna kill the popcorn man?!” LOL


Song: “Mickey” – Toni Basil; tune video to about 1:45

Actual Lyric The Lyric I Heard
“I’ll take it like a man” “I’m kinky like a man”

…My lyric makes sense, doesn’t it? Kinda…sorta? 😛


Song: “Hungry Eyes” – Eric Carmen; tune video to about 1:00

Actual Lyric The Lyric I Heard
“Hungry eyes” “Come three eyes”

Okay, okay, in my defense, I was 3 when I first heard the song… xD


Song: “Devil with the Blue Dress On/Good Golly Miss Molly” – Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels; tune video to about 2:05

Actual Lyric The Lyric I Heard
“See Miss Molly rockin’ in the house of delight” “See Miss Molly rockin’ in the house with good light”

And this is why you enunciate your words when you sing! Otherwise, people can hear all sorts of strangeness. 😛


Song: “Jesus Loves Me” – traditional Christian children’s hymn; tune video to about 0:34

Actual Lyric The Lyric I Heard
“They are weak but He is strong” “They are weak but He is JOAN!”

I never heard my Nannie laugh so hard as when I sung my version of “Jesus Loves Me” on the way home from Sunday school one morning. I think there’s a rather incriminating tape of this lying around the house somewhere… xD


Song: “You Sexy Thing” – Hot Chocolate; tune video to about 0:18

Actual Lyric The Lyric I Heard
“Where ya from, you sexy thing?” “What is wrong, you sexy thing?”

Until about two weeks ago, I thought my hearing of the lyric was correct. My boyfriend, whose ears seem to be incredibly accurate lyric-picker-uppers, corrected me. 😛


Song: “You Really Got Me” – The Kinks; tune video to about 0:33

Actual Lyric The Lyric I Heard
“You really got me!” “You really got mad!”

I went around singing this as a little kid, completely oblivious to my mishearing, till all the adults in the room busted out in big ole laughs. 😛

BONUS: Mondegreens from Mom and Dad

Apparently, I get this “talent” for mishearing lyrics honestly. Here are some of the mondegreens Mom and Dad have come up with over the years:


Song: “Five O’Clock World” – The Vogues; tune video to about 0:20

Actual Lyric The Lyric Mom Heard
“It’s a five o’clock world when the whistle blows” “It’s a five o’clock world and the wind’s so cold”


Song: “I Can’t Get No (Satisfaction)” – The Rolling Stones; tune video to 0:10

Actual Lyric The Lyric Dad Heard
“I can’t get no girl reaction” “I can’t get no gut reaction”


Song: “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” – The Beatles; tune video to about 1:00

Actual Lyric The Lyric Mom Heard
“I can’t hide” “I get hives”


Song: “Dance to the Music” – Sly and the Family Stone; tune video to about 1:05

Actual Lyric The Lyric Mom Heard
“I’m gonna add some bottom” “I’ve got a handsome bottom”


Song: “Black Water” – The Doobie Brothers; start video at beginning

Actual Lyric The Lyric Dad Heard
“I built me a raft and she’s ready for floatin'” “I built me a refuge, she’s ready for clover”

Chord Colors: Perfect Pitch and Synesthesia

Last year, I referred to colors and music as being completely intertwined in my head–it’s a positive condition known as synesthesia, or as I like to refer to it, my “brain feature.” Every time I listen to music, my inner sight explodes in colors; it has always been this way, even when I was a very little girl and wasn’t as involved with the production of music as I am these days.

Though I’ve shared this particular picture with you before, here is my complete, colored piano scale, created by my combination of perfect pitch and synesthesia:

This pitch-color connection is an instantaneous response to music, something I don’t have to think about to “see;” it’s just there. And today, I thought I’d share some of that experience, in the form of created images capturing the colors of various musical chords.

(Before we begin, please excuse the relatively low artistic quality of these images; I can’t quite seem to recapture exactly how each chord “looks” to me when it is played, but I have done my best. :P)

B-flat Major


To me, B-flat, whether major or minor, has always had a little shade of darkness to it on the “left” side of the pitch; it’s not sad or evil darkness, just kind of shaded. Here, the B-flat major chord is described, with shadowy teal, light blue, and bright green (B-flat, D, and F, respectively).

B Minor


The 80s called and said they want their pastel palette back. LOL! This is how B minor looks in my head–a wash of lilac and white in the background (the note of B, with the lightness of the major chord), with a little light blue (D) and deep blue-green (F-sharp) mixed in. It’s a gracefully beautiful key, but also somewhat reserved and icy-feeling.

C Major


C major has always appeared bright and colorful in my head–almost too colorful! The golden-yellow C, the pale pink E, and the bright red G are a bit jarring together; this color combination is probably why I associate C major with childhood, especially toys. But you can’t say C major isn’t cheerful enough! 😛

C Minor


In stark contrast to the brightness of C major, C minor has always seemed broodingly dark, even a little slinky, especially with the red of G combined with the red-orange of E-flat and the gold-to-black gradient in the background. (The added darkness in the background is nearly always present in my head when minor chords are played, excepting B minor.)

C-Sharp Major


This is the only key for which very bright silver sparkles appear scattered across the background; I’ve done a poor imitation here, but this gives some idea. The bright green of F and the rich blue of A-flat do not overpower the deep violet and silvery shimmer of the background, which is possibly one reason this is my favorite key to hear music in.

C-Sharp Minor


I love both the major and minor keys of C-sharp, and with good reason–the tones are beautiful, as are the color combinations in my head. In its minor form, C-sharp’s violet is darker, with less emphasis on the sparkles in the background, and the light-pink E adds a more monochromatic dimension to the chord color. I can become wrapped in the chord very easily…it’s melancholy and yet beautiful.

F Major


F major, like C major, is very bright and happy, with the off-white A and deep golden C accenting the vibrant green F. It feels festive and unapologetic, which might be one reason I’ve always associated the key of F major with celebrations and lots of people.

G Major


Can’t miss G major! :O What an explosion of nearly-patriotic colors, with the powerful red G, soft lavender B, and bright blue D. This key feels energetic and powerful, even when it’s used for an easygoing song–I guess it’s all that red. xD (Odd fact: as American as this particular chord palette looks, it’s interesting to note that our national anthem is usually sung in A-flat major instead of G major. Oh well, there’s no accounting for my brain’s sound-color associations!)

To Learn More About Synesthesia

Synesthesia @ Wikipedia.org
Mixed Signals–for synesthetes and non-synesthetes alike
American Synesthesia Association
The Synesthesia Battery of Tests–find out if you’re a synesthete, too!

Tales from the Picky Eater’s Plate

As my parents could probably tell you, I’ve been a picky eater as long as I can remember (and probably even before that). One of the first coherent thoughts I expressed aloud, as a child, was “Don’t want. Not good. Bad taste.” XD

My relationship with certain types of food, therefore, has been a tenuous one. Most vegetables and “healthy” food has instead tasted horribly bitter to me–and I don’t think I’m alone in that. Not only that, I experience aversions to certain food textures as well, which I’ll elaborate on in a moment–and I’m also not the only one to be particular about food textures. Some consider it a mild eating disorder, some think it’s part of a sensory disorder, and others are simply talking about their own food texture hates.

Through my growing-up years and into adulthood, I have kept trying new foods that contain the ingredients I didn’t like. But I often find myself spitting out the non-favorite food anyway, either voluntarily into a napkin or involuntarily (gagging and sometimes even throwing up). This is not an entitlement issue–it’s actually quite restricting to my diet, and makes it 3 times more complicated when I have to order things specially made, or have to do “surgery” on a meal to remove all the crap I’m not going to touch.

Example: People don’t realize how lettuce and tomato flavors RUIN a burger, for instance–you can take the lettuce leaf and tomato slice off, but the bitter juices remain, tainting the bun, cheese slice and meat patty beneath, not to speak of all the condiments you lose in the “burger surgery” process. And if I ask for lettuce and tomato to be removed, I still have to pay regular price for it; I’m basically paying for lettuce and tomato I don’t want and don’t get. NOT fair, much?

When I have tried to explain my particular food tastes to others, the general consensus is that if “I’d just try it, I’d like it.” But I don’t like wasting money on food I just flat won’t eat. And, most of the time, I have tried these foods, and I still didn’t like them, or I experienced such a violent negative reaction to them that it’s not worth it. It seems my taste buds are very particular, and though I’d like to get healthy and eat “healthy,” most of the good-for-me foods don’t even taste like food to me.

Non-Favorite Foods

Vegetables

  • Tomatoes
  • Carrots
  • Corn
  • Mushrooms
  • Onions
  • Lettuce (especially Iceberg lettuce)
  • Olives
  • Broccoli (if not cooked in anything)
  • Spinach (if not drowned out with cheese)
Fruits

  • Pineapples
  • Apples
  • Oranges (if left whole)
  • Bananas
  • Strawberries (if left whole)
  • Cherries
  • Peaches
Meats

  • Steak
  • Bacon
  • Southern-style barbecue
  • Most seafood
  • Fatty bits hanging on any meat product
Desserts/Snacks

  • Chocolate in too large a quantity
  • Twinkies
  • Shredded coconut
  • Anything drowning in grease/fat
  • Yogurt

How This Stuff Tastes to Me

  • Broccoli and spinach are only good mashed up in casseroles with loads of cheese on top so I can’t really taste ’em. Otherwise, they both taste like crunchy grass. (As in, I eat it and I’m tempted to moo afterwards.)
  • Chunky chopped tomatoes/whole tomatoes taste like acidic water and soil, and nothing else. And the texture is nasty as well–slippery and slidy in my mouth, dodges my teeth. Yuck. But I can eat ketchup just fine; go figure.
  • Bananas have too flat a flavor to really enjoy, but it’s the texture that kills me. Soft and mushy right until you get to the middle, and then your teeth crunch through this hard bit in the center. Um, no thank you, I didn’t want cardboard in the middle of my banana.
  • Eating olives feels like I’m eating cooked eyeballs. HECK to the NO.
  • Eating cooked onions is like eating spicy slivers of tapeworms. Pull the onion slice out of a breaded onion ring sometime and you’ll see exactly what I mean. BLEGH!
  • Iceberg lettuce (the really pale green/white kind) is basically crunchy, bitter paper impregnated with water.
  • Mushrooms have an odd rubbery texture that kinda feels like I’m eating a bodily organ of some sort. Combine that with an utter lack of flavor, and you get why I hate mushrooms.
  • Pulp and fiber in most fruits and vegetables is like eating a wad of Silly String, or gum that has long since lost its flavor. Examples: celery (bite into it, and it looks like split ends), oranges (yuck, pulp that gets all over my tongue and I can’t swallow it)
  • I’ve tried and tried to enjoy Twinkies and other “just-sugar-and-fat” foods, and I can’t take ’em. They are literally too sweet–my mouth dries out and I choke.
  • Very greasy food, like Taco Bell’s new beef recipe = not awesome.
  • I can take chocolate in small quantities, but I have to have something to drink with it–otherwise, the back of my throat burns like I’ve tried to swallow rubbing alcohol.
  • Strong fishy odors make me think of women’s health issues, NOT food. Seafood is largely yuck for that reason. (Seafood is also very chewy/oily)
  • Yogurt is okay in smoothies–just PLEASE do not serve it to me plain. The “live, rotting bacteria” taste has to be covered up with a much stronger flavor.

Not Just Taste, but Texture, Too

It’s true–I generally pay attention to texture of food as well as taste. One more reason that I hate most vegetables and fruit is because of the natural crunchy or pulpy texture–I don’t like too much crunch and too little taste, like in Iceberg lettuce, nor do I want 75% of what I ingest to be tasteless wads of pulp or seeds, like oranges and bananas.

Along with crunchy and pulpy, the tough, chewy foods are generally not on my happy list; thus, why I rarely eat most forms of pork and steak. Bacon? No, thank you, all you are is crisp and grease, or too tough to pull apart. BBQ pork? No, you’re just possum meat in a different animal (longer you chew it, bigger it gets). Steak? Why pay 16 bucks for meat that either tastes like leather or is mooing at me?

Basically, if the food feels disgusting in my mouth, I’m not going to be able to eat it, even if it tastes okay. Example: as much as I love oranges’ flavor, I can’t stand the texture of the pulp in my mouth–thus, no whole oranges for me. Literally makes me want to gag.

Other Picky Food “Rules”

  • Vegetables and meats are supposed to be salty, and fruits and desserts are supposed to be sweet. No crossovers allowed (i.e. sweet corn, honey barbecue flavored meat, watermelon with salt on it, brownies with salted nuts included).
  • Sweet and salty flavors are not supposed to mesh in the same food. Instead, sweet should be cleansed from the palate first before taking a bite of salty, and vice versa.
  • If the meat is pink, has blood running from it, or if the meat looks too much like the animal it came from (i.e., leg of lamb that still LOOKS like a leg), no way I’m eating it.

Summary

Since we all eat but experience food differently, food is both an intensely universal and personal experience. My experience is just one among many–yours is likely completely different. But it’s interesting to share what foods we love and hate, and why.

I also wanted to raise awareness of the food texture issue, since that seems to be a much more common phenomenon than I ever dreamed. Who knew I had compatriots in the hatred of orange pulp and banana seeds?

A “Tug” on My Brain: Intuition

Countless times I’ve experienced it, especially driving somewhere. For instance, I’ll be headed to town, and feel a “tug” to go a different route to town than usual (there are two basic ways to get to the closest town from my house). It could happen with any route, at any time. There appears to be no rhyme or reason to it–except, of course, that the times it happens corresponds exactly with accidents or other traffic issues happening on the road I didn’t take.

The first couple of times this happened, that I followed the “tug” and later found out about something awful I avoided, I brushed it off. Now that it’s happened more than 20 times in the last four years, I’ve started to wonder what exactly this strange intuition is.

“Tugs” In Other Areas of Life

Intuitive “tugs” like this have also popped up in non-driving situations, like thoughts of someone randomly popping to mind.

Example #1: The Old High School Acquaintance

I remember about six months ago, I randomly thought of a girl I hadn’t talked to since high school while I was out on an errand. “I haven’t seen her in a long time,” I thought. “Wonder how she’s doing?”

I later met a few other high school friends while out and about at one of the local big-box stores. As we chatted in line at the checkout, one of the girls said, “Oh, and did you hear about [the girl]’s father?”

“Huh? No, I hadn’t,” I replied. “What happened?”

“He got put in the hospital today, ’round lunchtime,” the other girl said. “Kidney stones or something. She’s really messed up over it.”

The odds of this being a coincidence felt pretty slim, even in our small town. Why would that particular person be in my thoughts, only to have other people mention her to me later, in connection with her father’s illness? It was a little rattling, to say the least. Now, if someone pops to mind, I immediately pray for them–who knows why they’ve popped to mind, but I’m covering my bases.

This random, unpredictable sense has aided me in traffic situations, health diagnoses, and even just occasional meetings with people. Some people just seem to exude their worry, and I find myself unconsciously responding to that, offering encouragement–like the couple I served at the calendar store during the holidays in 2009.

Example #2: The Couple at the Calendar Store

When this couple came in to shop, I could tell they were desperately worried about something, but I didn’t know what. I didn’t say anything to them at all until they came up to check out–they spent most of their time talking quietly and looking around. While I was running their purchases through, I made some offhand comment about my knee acting up (probably said something like “Good ol’ Arthur Itis is after me again” or something silly). They exchanged a look, and said “As young as you are, you have arthritis?”

“Most likely–runs in my family, and I’ve had a lot of injuries to it,” I replied.

Again, the slightly-surprised look. “Well, our son is having a lot of pain and swelling in his left knee, especially when he wakes up in the mornings. We’re actually over here shopping, waiting for him to get done with testing–we thought maybe he’d broken something.”

“Sounds like what I go through on many mornings with my own joints,” I told them. “If it isn’t broken, it might be arthritis. But I take Advil or Aleve, and try to rest the joint if I can, and that helps.” I could FEEL them relaxing, and they smiled for the first time since they came in. They seemed happier now that they had a possible explanation for what was happening to their son. I had not known of any illness beforehand, but it had just seemed like the right thing to say.

Intuition through Dreams: Premonitions

Intuition like this seems to even occur in dreams for me–one very disturbing (but awesome) dream experience happened about two years ago.

Example #3: The T-Intersection Dream

Back in the summer of 2010, I had a vivid dream that I was at a country T-intersection about 12 miles from home, at night. I was getting ready to turn left in the dream, turning to go home from that point. It struck me as odd, though–in the dream, the house across the road had odd, blue-icicle Christmas lights on its side porch, which made no sense because it was July when I had the dream.

In the dream, I looked back and forth, checking to see if it was clear for me to turn. (This particular intersection is very scary at night because the lay of the land makes it hard to see if people are coming, and since it’s near a busy highway, some people come busting through there at 50+ mph.) I began to turn, and all of a sudden, I saw a flash of bright blue-green paint, right before I T-boned the pickup truck that had come out of absolutely nowhere. The jarring impact, and the sound of tearing, screeching metal, stayed with me long after I woke, and I could not go back to sleep.

Near Christmas 2010, I found myself at that same intersection, late at night–it was about 11:30 on a Friday. I looked back and forth, and it looked clear; seemed I could get on my way with no worries. But I happened to glance ahead and see the house across the road–it looked the same as it had been in my dream. Even the blue-icicle lights were in the same position on the house as they had been, only decorating the side porch. I felt that now-familiar “tug” on my brain, and thought, “This looks a bit too much like my dream for my liking.” Paused in thought, I held the car still longer than I had in the dream.

Then a flash of bright blue-green paint whizzed by in my headlights, shocking me out of my dream-memory. A pickup truck, going about 20 miles over the speed limit, had passed me in the night–the exact same color and general make that I had seen in the dream nearly six months before. If I had not waited a few seconds more, reflecting on my dream, I would have T-boned him exactly as I had done in the dream. I have no doubt that this dream saved my life by making me more watchful and aware.

“Tugs” about People: Danger Sense/Character Judgment

I can credit these strange senses with other, more immediate needs of mine as well–sensing when a person may become dangerous, or sensing when someone is in sincere need of help.

Example #4: The Young Blond Guy

For instance, one afternoon I was pumping gas near my college campus; I’d already paid at the pump and was well on my way to a full tank. A young man, blond-haired and wearing a jean jacket and camouflage-patterned pants, pulled up at the pump behind me and got out, ostensibly walking into the gas station’s convenience store. But instead of walking with purpose, he cruised–sauntered–on by my car, oh-so-casually glancing in my backseat and at my purse. Then, he moved on, walking on into the store.

Once he was in the store, the “tug” was unmistakable and strong, the impulse even expressing itself in words: “Get out, get out of here right now. You are in danger.” I quit pumping gas, got my printed receipt, and fairly flew out of the parking lot, taking the long way back to campus in case he followed me. I didn’t like the way he’d looked at me, as if he were sizing me up, and casing my car. But I got back to my dorm safely, and, once inside, quickly forgot about the incident.

It wasn’t until the next day in class that I heard several students talking about the woman who had been robbed at gunpoint at a local gas station. “Where was that?” I asked.

“That station right at the corner of campus, near the tire place,” one of the other guys said. “Happened just after 3:30 yesterday afternoon. They’re still lookin’ for the guy, too–had shoulder-length blond hair, wore a denim jacket and camo pants.”

Though I said nothing, I was shocked. The clock on my car radio had read 3:22 when I had pulled out of the gas station parking lot like a bat out of hell. The young man I had seen, who had given me such a huge case of the creeps, was dressed and looked exactly like the description. It seemed my intuition had been right, and I had been totally correct to follow it.

Example #5: The Scared Mother-to-Be

There was also the case of the young woman who approached me at the local coffee shop one evening, needing a ride back to Charlotte, NC, about an hour’s drive away. Though I did not know her, I had an instant sense, a “tug,” that made me want to help her. She seemed very desperate and afraid.

Though the drive eventually took us nearly all the way back to my hometown, due to a disagreement with the boyfriend she was having me drive her to meet, I was able to talk to her as I drove, and I found out she was four months pregnant, had been excluded from her church’s activities for being a “bad example” to the youth, and was terribly frightened about what was going to happen to her. I suspected abuse on the part of the “boyfriend,” whose very presence set off the “danger alarm” in my head–I was just as glad she did not choose to go with him after all.

By the time I dropped her off at a family member’s house in a nearby city, I had encouraged her to talk to her family members and seek their help. I had also told her that a church which excludes its members is not doing the work of Christ, and that God most definitely had a plan for her and her child. Listening to her talk of her life, weeping, was very difficult, but I did my best to minister to her and keep her safe on the road.

My intuition had been right again; though I had not known her from Eve when I first met her, she was someone who sincerely needed help in two ways, and I was willing to give it because of the “tug” of intuition I had had beforehand.

Where Do These “Tugs” of Intuition Come From?

I honestly cannot give an answer about where this intuition comes from. I’ve watched all manner of “psychics” do their acts, have investigated all the paranormal things I could, and still there’s no real answer to where these senses come from, and why they seem to be so dead-on accurate all the time.

I know for a fact I can’t predict the future consistently, nor can I see dead people around the living or talk to ghosts. But whatever they are, they have only benefited me and others positively. I prefer to think of these “tugs” as handy “warnings,” if you will…wherever they come from, they’ve certainly kept me out of danger and made me more helpful to others.

Horror Movies Ain’t Got Nothing on My Imagination

I like to tell people that I’m not very interested in horror movies or literature, because I’ve got a whole horror-movie production studio in my subconscious.

Most people think it’s a joke…but they aren’t the ones with a horror movie going while they sleep, and no way to turn it off!

A Few Selections from My Gleefully Wicked Subconscious

  • The recurring dream featuring running through a very sticky substance, and KNOWING I have to run from something that’s going to eat me, but I’m stuck to the floor. My chest is heavy, and I can’t breathe at all–there’s a crushing pressure on my body that makes it nearly impossible to take in air. Oh, and did I mention I’m completely blind in this dream? (I hate hate hate this one–I always wake up feeling like I’ve been strangled!)
  • A flashback from teaching middle school, where I get arrested in the lunchroom for allowing the kids to go absolutely batpoo crazy, and the judge pretty much throws the book at me, telling me “a criminal like me should not be allowed back in the classroom for any reason.” His version of “throwing the book at me” is chopping my hands off and cutting out my voice box. (Aw, God, the sheer amount of blood, and knowing it was MINE…nastyyyyyy)
  • The one where I’m the servant of a minister and his kinda-creepy mother, and they ask me to come to the basement of the church after I finish work. There’s a barrel in the corner of the gray-brick room I arrive in, which looks to be filled with water…but when I look in it, there’s rotting flesh in there. A scream rips from me, and I wake up lying on the floor, watching the minister burn one of my leg bones on a makeshift altar. I realize that I’m now just a pile of fleshless bones on the floor–my flesh has been stripped from me and is in the barrel–but I can still feel everything he’s doing to that bone of mine! (I was literally screwed up for HOURS after waking up from this…THING)

And yes, these are all real dreams that I’ve had over the course of my lifetime. (The blind running/difficulty breathing dream has haunted me since childhood, at least since I was three.) My brain seems to be very good at giving me frights while I sleep–it’s like, “Hey, you’re sleeping–let’s make a really scary movie that you can’t wake up out of!” (I have had numerous instances of being unable to wake easily from these dreams, more than the pretty and lovely dreams I’m always jarred out of by the cursed alarm clock.)

Why These Dreams Equal No “Scream” or “Halloween” for Me

Couple this vivid imagination and wicked subconscious with a strong empathy for others’ suffering, plus a little bit of paranoia about experiencing pain, and you get exactly why I can’t sit through a horror movie without needing a barf bag or a sensory deprivation tank afterwards. I don’t like seeing great gouts of blood all over the screen, because I can all too easily visualize it as being mine. Seeing people get stabbed through the eye or having to run screaming from stuff is not my idea of fun…it’s too much like my own nightmares. Why pay for this when I can get it for free (admittedly, in an uncontrollable fashion, but still)?

Unpredictable Nightmares

The frustrating thing about my horror-movie dreams is that I can never predict when they’ll happen, but they’re always nerve-jarring when they do. I could have the most awesome day ever, come home, go to bed, and experience something like one of the three dreams I mentioned above. Or, I could have the most awful day of my life, come home and flop in bed only to have an amazingly wonderful dream.

Is this my subconscious’ way of giving balance to my life? “Oop, you’re too happy, let’s give you something to freak out about!” or “Whoa, you need a pick-me-up–here ya go!” Whatever it is, I guess this is another of my brain’s quirks…

For the Readers

Do you suffer from similar kinds of nightmares as I do, or have you ever had one that stuck with you for a long time after waking? Let me know in the comments!