As a child of the 90s with a preference for Nintendo games, I was raised on the SNES, N64, and Gamecube, with occasional bouts on the Playstation 1 and even a Sega GameGear (handheld game system) for a brief time. So it’s little surprising to learn that many of my memorable childhood gaming moments come from that period of gaming, when it seemed every game side-scrolled, and controllers were physically attached to the console.
However, not all those memories are the most pleasant; some are annoying, some are frustrating, and some are downright laughable. Without further ado, here’s a short, audiovisual trip down “Argh! Not AGAIN!” Memory Lane. 😛
Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island
Tune the following video to about 1:25 and you’ll see why Baby Mario infuriated me (as well as many other gamers). With that insistent crying, Baby Mario could potentially qualify as a teen pregnancy deterrent. xD
I was primarily a “button-masher” on fighting games like Soul Calibur 2 for the Gamecube…which meant that the science of doing combos went over my head, completely. Oh, sure, I could press all the buttons in sequence, but it would be in slow motion. Occasionally I would get a lucky combo to trigger (unlike on Mortal Kombat, next video down), but more often than not I stuck to “A does this, B does that, and A and B together do this.”
I had the same problem on Mortal Kombat–I’m not sure I ever got a combo to trigger on that game, because I was always too slow. Either that, or the quarter-circle and half-circle Control Stick commands messed me up. (This is a beginner tutorial, but it illustrates most of the combos, and their difficulty.)
Just recently, I found out I never truly finished StarFox 64. Why? Because I quit trying to fly through all those silly arches on the Corneria level! (Tune the following video to 2:30 to see them in action.)
As an 11-year-old, I found it difficult to maneuver the ship on the first couple of passes, and when I advanced to the next level without flying through them, I figured “well, it was probably only a level decoration anyway.” Some level decoration, huh? LOL!
Bonus: Other Annoying Moments Not Captured on YouTube
Getting almost to the end of a MarioKart 64 race in 1st place, only to be hit by a Spiny Shell in the last curve
Getting all the way to the end of a stage and dying before you can save (any game)
Making a series of epic jumps onto tiny platforms, only to get to the last jump and miss it, falling all the way back to the bottom (Super Mario World)
Being left behind by the uncontrollable side-scrolling screen and dying (any side-scrolling game)
Trying to get through an area quickly (without getting into any Pokemon battles)–and of course, that’s the moment you run into EVERY SINGLE TRAINER in the area. (any Pokemon game)
Making Diddy Kong do a super-awesome chain of cartwheels…straight off a cliff edge. (Donkey Kong Country)
What are your most irritating gaming moments from childhood? Tell me in the comments, and share the LOL!
Back in 1996, this little gem was released for the SNES, and quickly became one of my favorite games of all time.
Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars (its full title) is the result of the only collaboration between Nintendo and Squaresoft (now known as SquareEnix, makers of the Final Fantasy series). And the game bears the marks of both its parent game companies; the rich lore and characters of Nintendo’s Mushroom Kingdom combine with Final Fantasy-style turn-based, RPG combat and mechanics to make a new type of challenge for Mario fans.
The Story in a Nutshell
The first few minutes of gameplay seem more like the end of a traditional Mario game–you fight Bowser to rescue Princess Toadstool. But, just as you’re about to rescue Toadstool, why, a giant sword comes crashing through the heavens (screwing up the Star Road in the process). It stabs down into Bowser’s castle, and the resulting explosion scatters Mario, Toadstool, and Bowser to various places in the world.
The new challenge: defeat Smithy, the bad guy who just threw Bowser out of his own castle with a larger-than-life sword.
Characters Old and New
Besides Mario and Princess Toadstool, there are some old familiar faces and completely new characters in SMRPG…but the story takes a few surprising turns concerning its characters.
For instance, Bowser actually becomes an ally in the fight against Smithy (a move that was revolutionary for its day).
Another ally comes all the way from the Star Road (as basically an angel) to help Mario and his friends. The spirit, ♥ ♪ !?, chooses to occupy the form of a little clown doll named “Geno,” and takes on the doll’s name since his real name is “hard to pronounce.” LOL!
Along with Bowser and Geno, you get Mallow, a little guy with weather powers who looks like a little puff of cloud (for good reason–you’ll find out why later in the game), and Princess Toadstool.
This was the first non-racing game I recall that had Toadstool as a playable character, which is one big reason this is a favorite game of mine. I love that she is the primary “healer” in this game, with her “Group Hug” group-healing power, and her resurrect power, “Come Back.” (I also love the fact that she can whack baddies with a Frying Pan if you know where to find it! :P)
Side Quests and Humor Galore
This game is both challenging and entertaining, rich with both non-essential content and story events that are downright funny. For example:
As part of the story, you have to rescue Toadstool from being forcibly married to Booster, who is pretty much a more playful, inept, and silly version of Bowser. This clip, showing part of the “wedding” ceremony, has some of the funniest dialogue and actions in the whole game.
Your forays into the second major area of the game, “Pond to Pipes,” take you down the Kero Sewers and out into a river course called the Midas River, so named because it can make you rich if you know how to play it right. Precise control over Mario (and good reflexes/timing) are key, but you don’t have to do the course perfectly to get through the area. (You can come back and play the Midas River course over and over again if you want, as well!)
One of the boss battles you’ll face is with a group called the Axem Rangers, who are thinly-veiled references to the Power Rangers. ’90s TV allusion, ahoy! This boss battle is fraught with snicker-worthy dialogue and posturing, even as it challenges you to think strategically.
The music nerd in me still delights in the musical side available in Tadpole Pond (just beyond Midas River). You can compose and play a melody using a still pond and tadpoles for the notes! (Also, if you gather certain melodies from around the game and play them here, the composer Toadofsky will gift you with various access cards to Tadpole Pond’s “Juice Bar,” which provides several team-boosting items.)
You can also visit Yoshi’s Island and hang out with Yoshi and all his pals. (Plus, you can compete with Yoshi in the island races to get Yoshi Cookies, which are great to use when you’re in combat and need an emergency boost!)
Don’t miss the fun cameos and references to other Nintendo games hidden within SMRPG. For instance, Link and Samus appear at various points in the game, as this video demonstrates. 🙂
A Few Special Areas Within the Game
The various towns and zones in SMRPG are well-crafted and provide rest and refueling opportunities, as well as furthering the main story and some side quests. (Seaside Town is a great one-stop shop, for instance, while Marrymore provides a luxury resort experience–try the Deluxe Suite in the Hotel to see what I mean!)
One of my favorite areas in the game, however, is Monstro Town, a town that’s literally a small group of reformed bad guys. I love the kitsch of this place–who would have thought that bad guys could reform, and that they’d make this cute little settlement?
Because the reformed baddies fear overly aggressive retribution for their crimes and want to live quietly, Monstro Town is quite difficult to get into; you have to solve a difficult desert puzzle to even get to the underground entrance. But it’s definitely worth the visit, as you’ll see!
Challenges and Puzzles for the Truly Fearless
SMRPG also has a few non-essential boss battles and puzzles, which are worth the look even if you choose not to complete them.
Jinx, who runs the dojo in Monstro Town, is a great side-quest boss to tackle. He’s difficult to defeat, but if you manage it, you’ll get the Jinx Belt–an accessory that prevents instant death. VERY handy for later battles!
This video shows you how to get the Lazy Shell Armor and Weapon, which are nearly essential for beating Smithy at the last. (By the way, the pair of items do not have to be used together; actually, you’re better off equipping Toadstool with the Armor to make her an almost unkillable healer!)
Also in Monstro Town, you can find a challenge hidden behind a sealed door–a monster only known as Culex. The resulting battle is easily the most difficult in the whole game (and I’m including Smithy’s battles in this estimation!).
Secrets, Hacks, and Amazing Stunts
This video covers a few secrets within the game (Forest Maze Treasure, how to get the Ghost Medal, what the B’Tub ring is for, and how to beat Culex).
An old favorite video of mine, this demonstrates the hilarious results of SMRPG ROM hacks. xD
And finally, for your viewing pleasure: soloing Smithy (the final boss) with Toadstool. Never thought this could be done till I saw this video. WOW.
To Play Super Mario RPG
The game is available through the Wii Virtual Console as well as through the SNES itself. It’s well worth the time to play through–it’s a wonderful, original storyline which takes our old favorite characters in new directions, and introduces us to Mario’s wider world, too.
Though Nintendo has never quite been able to match the magic of Super Mario RPG (its one and only collaboration with Final Fantasy makers SquareEnix), there’s a couple of games that come close, in my opinion. Paper Mario, for the N64, is one of them.
Paper Mario is memorable and eminently replayable for its many side quests and fun excursions, much like Super Mario RPG. But it’s also got its own distinctive Nintendo flair! Read on for a little reminiscing and description of this awesome game.
In Paper Mario, Bowser steals a magic wand called the Star Rod from the seven benevolent Star Spirits, who serve as the world’s spiritual leaders. He then proceeds to imprison said Star Spirits, and begins to run amok with his newfound power, eventually lifting Peach’s castle sky-high, and even defeating Mario with the aid of the Star Rod. Of course, Mario has to rescue the Star Spirits and kick major butt along the way. 🙂
This video shows the opening scenes and the first few challenges/puzzles of the game, set in Goomba Village. After Mario’s disastrous conflict with the new and improved Bowser, he is thrown from Peach’s castle and is discovered some time later by a little girl Goomba named Goombaria.
From Goomba Village, you eventually move on to Toad Town, and are faced with the wreckage at the spot where Peach’s castle was torn up from the ground. (Your first big boss battle, with the Goomba King, is covered in this video as well.)
In Paper Mario, Mario receives the aid of several individuals he meets in his journey to rescue the Star Spirits. Each one of them can serve as a Partner in battle, helping to defeat enemies; each one also has a special ability that can be used outside combat to help Mario.
Partners in the Game
– Goombario (gives you enemy information, including Hit Points)
– Kooper (can use his shell to attack enemies at range or retrieve items from a little distance away)
– Bombette (can bomb cracked walls or ambush-bomb enemies)
– Parakarry (can carry Mario for a short distance across gaps)
– Lady Bow (can hide Mario from enemies)
– Watt (can light up dark places and display hidden ? blocks)
– Sushie (can help Mario get across water)
– Lakilester (can give Mario faster and longer flight across obstacles)
Each Partner is very, very useful–no duds here!
Peach’s Greater Role in This Game
One of my favorite bits about this game is that Peach is actually given more of a personality, and given meaningful tasks to do within the game. She’s no longer just a victim; she’s proven to be braver and more resourceful than anyone ever figured on.
In between the Mario-centric “chapters” of the game, you get to play as Peach, doing more stealth/spy missions to help Mario’s quest. Her tasks progress in difficulty as the game goes along.
One of the hardest Peach missions in the game is baking a cake for Gourmet Guy. Why do I call it the hardest mission? Because just like real baking, I stink at creating virtual cakes, too, apparently! LOL! This mission requires excellent timing to complete (I used a stopwatch and it still took several tries); however, the payoff is worth it.
Of course, if you don’t care about the payoff, you can always have Peach cook a disgusting cake instead…this one involves using Cleanser and Water as ingredients. Serves that picky Gourmet Guy right, I think. xD
A Few Game Secrets and Side Quests
Paper Mario is littered (sorry, couldn’t resist the pun) with secrets and side quests. For instance:
8-bit Mario in Lady Bow’s Mansion
Luigi’s diary
hidden 8-bit music if you wait long enough on chapter screens
speeding-up and slowing-down music box in Lady Bow’s Mansion
“Empty” Box Trick in Dry Dry Desert: You get a Mushroom, Super Shroom and an Ultra Shroom by whacking this box with your Hammer several times.
Anti Guy is a nonessential boss in the Toy Box levels, and is very difficult to defeat if you’re not careful! (I found that using Lady Bow to hide Mario from Anti Guy’s super-strong attacks is very useful; otherwise, you just have to outlast him in Hit Points.)
There are also some secrets and side quests within the towns you visit:
The sorceress/seer Merlee in the back alleys of Dry Dry Outpost; she can give you a spell to help you in battle
You can get a Goomnut item from the big tree in Goomba Village
You can help an old Koopa in Koopa Village by running some errands for him; each one gets you a Star Piece
You can listen to the radio in the blue-shell house in Koopa Village
Don’t forget to climb the tree in Yoshi Village!
This video gives you the location of 3 secret Badges; Badges can be equipped to Mario to give him different attacks, better Hit Points and Flower Points, resistance to certain types of damage, and lots of other benefits.
If you visit Merluvlee’s house near Shooting Star Summit, she can tell a “fortune” about Star Pieces nearby. Her brother Merlow, who lives upstairs, sells Badges in exchange for Star Pieces. (Also, the purple-and-gold chest in the far left of the first floor is linked to an identical chest in Peach’s castle–Peach can pass items, like hidden Badges, to Mario in this way.
Talk to Merlon (in Toad Town, in the house with the spinning roof) whenever you’re lost about something. He also helps advance the plot otherwise, but his fortunes will help you get un-stuck.
One of my favorite side quests involves a Pop Diva who used to sing at Club 64 in Toad Town (near the port). Unfortunately, all the unrest in Toad Town has grieved her so much that she cannot sing; she needs a truly inspiring song to make her sing again. This video shows you how to help her!
Final Battle with Bowser
The final battle is divided into 2 parts; this video covers the first part, which is fairly scripted for you. Mario fights Bowser, and Peach fights Kammy Koopa (the real brains behind it all). Good plot development ensues, and because of Peach’s desperate wish, Mario gets a new attack–Peach Beam!
Once Mario gets Peach Beam, the second half of Bowser’s battle commences–and the game has changed. Peach Beam shatters Bowser’s Star Rod power temporarily, enabling him to be damaged, which means that finally, Mario’s attacks can get somewhere!
To Play Paper Mario
This game is available through the Wii’s Virtual Console, and there are probably some N64 cartridges of this still floating around out there, too. Definitely check into it–it’s a great story and well worth a playthrough (or 5)!
If I ever have to fly a plane and turn out even passably good at it, I’ll have StarFox 64 to thank. As one of the first really serious simulation games I played as a young teen back in 1997, this game has stuck with me as a challenging favorite.
This is the StarFox 64 introduction sequence, which opens up part of the story for you, as well as introducing the main characters: Fox McCloud, Slippy Toad, Peppy Hare, and Falco Lombardi.
This video is the (hilarious) Nintendo Power-produced teaser for StarFox 64, which demonstrates all the newness that came with the game, such as the Rumble Pak and the 3-D graphics.
Continuing the introduction, the first mission’s preface lays out more of the story. Basically, Fox McCloud’s father was captured (and most likely killed) by the mad scientist Andross while trying to stop him invading the Lylat system. Now Andross is invading the Lylat system (again!) and must be stopped.
This video includes the first mission, in which you learn the following things:
“Do a barrel roll!”, also known as the takeaway meme from this game 😛
The game continually pulls you forward, so there’s little time for investigating much beyond your narrow flight path
Slippy is technically a dude, but does not sound like a dude at all (LOL)
Peppy has a remarkably fake, almost laughable Southern accent…but only in some scenes
Falco’s commentary defines “snarky” before it was a common word.
The Backflip will quickly become your favorite evasion technique, as well as a maneuvering trick.
Charging your laser and allowing the targeting system to lock on is a great technique for accuracy, especially flying as fast as you generally have to.
Collect all the glimmering rings you can; silver rings heal you up, and 3 golden rings give you a permanent health increase and occasionally an extra life.
Shoot everything. Who knows, that random 3-D blob might have a bonus hidden in it!
Aside from playing missions, you can also get better at flying by going into Training Mode (seen here in this video). I spent so much time here as a kid, just playing around. LOL
This video shows that it’s possible to kamikaze into bosses and destroy them, apparently. LOL! (Watch for Peppy’s ill-timed comment at the end for extra LOL)
The stark beauty of flying through the meteor belt…kinda reminds me of Star Wars. Wait, that’s the whole point of the game, never mind. 😛
Apart from using the Arwing (the flying ship), you can also use a tank during land missions that require it. The tank is a little harder and slower to maneuver than the ship, so take that into account!
Also, on the planet Aquas, you get to use a submarine; I was terrible at it, but that’s mainly because the levels are generally dark and harder to navigate. If you time your torpedoes right, you can light the way ahead much better.
This video collects together all the boss fights in the game…
…but here’s a little trivia: there are two final-boss endings to this game. This one is the “Easy” battle against Andross (to which I say: “Easy? Are you kidding?”). Many gamers say this ending allows Andross to live instead of being completely wiped out.
And this is the “Hard” ending, which involves Fox’s long-lost father leading him from the battlefield and out of Andross’ realm before it all explodes. (I admit, I never saw this ending. I don’t remember fighting Andross’ brain, nor the flight sequence at the end. Fail! I r not hardcore gamer… xD Guess I get to replay and see if I can find this ending for myself! 🙂 )
To Play StarFox 64
Aside from being released on the N64 back in 1997, this game was re-released on the Wii Virtual Console as well. However, there is also a newer version called StarFox 64 3D, released for the Nintendo 3DS handheld system.
As a kid, I loved just toying around on games, not having to beat a level in a certain time limit. Unfortunately, most of the games in my childhood valued completion under pressure rather than discovering every single nook and cranny within the game…
That is, almost every game I played except for one series: the Donkey Kong Country series. In this game series and this one alone (it seemed), the more you hunted around and tried new things, the more cool secrets you could discover–though some were harder to spot than others. Let me show you just a fun cross-section of the first game in this series…
The above video is the (hilarious) game intro and a playthrough of the first level, Jungle Hijinks. The main conflict in the game is that King K. Rool has stolen Donkey Kong’s beloved banana stash, and he and Diddy Kong have to fight to get it all back.
Each level ramps up just a little in difficulty and variety of challenges, but none of the levels are without secrets and fun stuff to discover along the way. This one is Ropey Rampage, the second level, which involves a lot of well-timed swings on ropes to get through the level, very unlike the level before it.
In this game, you have to use props more than power-ups to get around and complete levels–one of these props is the “cannon barrel”, which propels you more quickly across dangerous areas and can even get you into secret areas. (This particular example video comes from DKC for GBA, but it shows the barrel shooting accurately enough.)
The different scenery within the game provides new challenges with every section of the game map. For instance, the Underground levels have more bouncy tires (my favorite prop for jumping high or long distances), and the Underwater levels have waving kelp for walls, some of which you can swim through to get to secrets.
This game also had some of the finest background music of its day. Here’s an example of the Underwater level music…soothing, with just hints of how vast the water is. 🙂
This video, showing the secrets in the Oil Drum Alley map, is but an example of the hidden areas, items, and challenges sprinkled liberally throughout the game. Since the game isn’t timed, it’s well worth exploring around in each level and not trying to hurry through–you might just stumble across a HUGE advantage!
For instance, the hidden Ostrich-flying minigame…one of my favorite minigames in the whole series, just because you get to play as the Ostrich character and fly around collecting little golden ostriches to get extra lives.
Remember how I said some of DKC’s secrets are harder to get to than others? This video is a collection of how to find all the hardest hidden rooms in the game. (Now that I’ve seen this, I realize how much stuff I didn’t find on my last playthrough, many years ago! :O )
And, as with most video games of its day, DKC doesn’t fail to deliver difficult but rewarding boss battles. (This video covers all the boss battles in the game…I remember hating that purple squawking bird-thing with all the passion in my 9-year-old heart. xD)
There are also some funny scenes in the game besides the intro screen. For instance, if you lose a minigame and are playing Diddy as your primary character, he throws down his hat and stomps on it. (However, the player on this video got an interesting effect by having Diddy slide around just before the loss was triggered.) DKC has fun little human (or monkey) moments like this throughout the game.
One last secret: this video shows several warps to avoid certain levels in the game. And to think, I made it through every single level when I was a kid… 😛
To Play Donkey Kong Country
This game was released for the SNES in 1994, and was made available for various other systems through the years, including the Wii’s Virtual Console in 2006. There’s also a new game for the Wii called Donkey Kong Country Returns, which is a new story set in the same world as the original DKC.
Bonus: Though this is a ROM hack, it’s still worth watching–using a mine cart from later levels as a battering ram to get through the first level super-fast. I LOL’ed in real life watching this ownage. 😛