1st Samuel 25:20-27
20 As [Abigail] came riding her donkey into a mountain ravine, there were David and his men descending toward her, and she met them. 21 David had just said, “It’s been useless–all my watching over [Nabal]’s property in the wilderness so that nothing of his was missing. He has paid me back evil for good. 22 May God deal with David, be it ever so severely, if by morning I leave alive one male of all who belong to him!”
23 When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off her donkey and bowed down before David with her face to the ground. 24 She fell at his feet and said: “Pardon your servant, my lord, and let me speak to you; hear what your servant has to say. 25 Please pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his name–his name means Fool, and folly goes with him. And as for me, your servant, I did not see the men my lord sent. 26 And now, my lord, as surely as the Lord your God lives and as you live, since the Lord has kept you from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, may your enemies and all who are intent on harming my lord be like Nabal. 27 And let this gift, which your servant has brought to my lord, be given to the men who follow you.”
In this passage, David has just talked about Nabal, Abigail’s husband, who has been mean and spiteful towards David even after David’s been doing a lot of nice things for him. Just before Abigail appears, David has vowed to practically obliterate the men of Nabal’s family for all the injustices the man has done.
Then Abigail meets David, and begins to floridly apologize for her husband’s wrongful actions. She’s already brought foodstuffs for David and his men, to make up for what Nabal had withheld when David had sent men to ask for provisions earlier. Now she seeks David’s forgiveness for this wrong, and proves herself a devout follower of the Lord in so doing; she believes that David is a Godly leader, and is under God’s protection because of that.
In doing this, Abigail proves she is wiser than her narrow-minded, judgmental husband, who has bigoted himself against David simply because of all the negative things he’s heard about David (primarily, his rocky dealings with King Saul).
For Modern Believers, It’s Hard Not to Act Like Nabal
We might think Nabal was pretty stupid, to not understand that David asked for provisions out of sheer need, to not donate a small portion of what he had in stores to someone who had already helped guard his property. What we might not realize is that we cast Nabal-like judgments all the time–judgments born of a refusal to open our minds and hearts, born of our own stubbornness.
For instance, judging that another person is not saved, based on their clothing? That’s a Nabal judgment. Being prejudiced against another believer because of race/ethnicity, or even political beliefs? Also a Nabal judgment. How about thinking that someone else’s service to the church is not as important as yours? Yep, that’s thinking like Nabal.
But in order to be wiser, more like Abigail, we have to be willing to open our minds to new ideas. Nabal didn’t think much of David; in fact, Nabal characterized David in an earlier verse as a “servant” who had broken away from his “master”. But Abigail had heard enough to know that even though David was having trouble with Saul, God was using him in mighty ways already. Though she likely heard lots of rumors, conflicting and agreeing, she did not blindly believe any of them until she thought them over and decided for herself. She then took the action that she felt was the most Godly.
Being a thoughtful, nonjudgmental Christian in this age of sound bites, quick news articles, and scare tactics is difficult. In all that we do (and hear) out in the world, however, we should remember that it is not our judgments that bear any weight, but God’s alone.
When we try, like Nabal, to judge a person harshly with a narrow-minded perspective, we forget that we, too, are going to be judged for what we do to others. And since our words and actions are the only clues others have to our personal faith…what message do harsh judgments send, as opposed to thoughtful and prayerful words?
Part of ridding ourselves of harsh judgments is taking a moment to breathe, and think whether our words really honor God. Many times, we find that our words are not born of truth and Godly thought, but hate and stubbornness. (I’m definitely guilty as charged.) This moment of thought before speaking not only makes us think about how we’re saying things, but what we’re saying, too. You might just find that you no longer want to make such a harsh judgment, after all. (It works, believe me!)