Generally, I hate cooking. I hate standing on a constantly-sore ankle in the kitchen, with hot vapors from a pot engulfing my face while I stir and stir till the world ends. I hate waiting over an hour for food to be done in the oven, or having to do series after series of repetitive steps (or just lots of steps in general) to cook one meal.

Basically, I’m impatient and kinda lazy when it comes to cooking. If I wasn’t already really hungry, I wouldn’t have walked into the kitchen to cook in the first place, amirite? 😛

I’m trying to get better at cooking, but it’s a slow process…so I decided to get creative, and tackle the problem of cooking cheaply with a little Robinesque innovation.

The following three food hacks came from two motivations: 1) I wanted to eat yummy food; 2) I wanted to be able to fix it without having to turn on the stove, because heat elements are scary. Thus, I give you the following food hacks. May they brighten your kitchen experience as they have mine!

5-Minute Soft Garlic Bread

Ingredients

• 1 loaf of barbecue bread (stocky loaf with thick, soft slices)
• Butter/margarine, amount adjusted for preference
• Garlic powder (from the spice aisle)
• 1 jar pizza sauce (trust me)

Instructions

1. Spread each slice of barbecue bread with as little or as much butter as you wish. I tend to like a little bread with my butter. 😛
2. Sprinkle on garlic powder to taste. Try going easy on it at first–you can always add more when it’s done.
3. Pop up to 4 slices in the microwave at a time on a paper towel, for about 30-40 seconds on default settings.
4. For each diner, pour a small amount of pizza sauce in a little bowl, and microwave it for about 10 seconds.
5. Serve, either by itself for a light meal or with a larger meal as a side. Pizza sauce makes an excellent dipping sauce for this soft bread (getting hungry just thinking about it, LOL).

5-Minute Chicken Tacos

Ingredients (all amounts will vary with number of people being served)

• Deli-sliced chicken
• Taco shells (can be hard or soft as preferred)
• Optional: Shredded cheese, preferably Mexican blend
• Optional: Veggie toppings, hot sauces, salsa, and anything else you like to cram onto a taco 🙂

Instructions

1. Lay out taco shells on microwavable plates, in groups of one to four per plate.
2. Pull 8 deli slices of chicken out.
3. Roll up the 8 slices into a tight roll, then use a knife to cut the roll into small sections. Think sushi-style.
4. Layer 1-2 cut sections of chicken into each taco shell; you can roll up and cut more meat if you want more meat per taco.
5. If you want cheese, sprinkle it on to taste.
6. Pop each plateful of tacos into the microwave for 60 to 90 seconds on default settings.
7. Once the tacos are done, add all the veggie toppings, hot sauces, salsa, etc., that your heart desires.
8. Serve, and enjoy your nom. 😀

5-Minute Strawberry Shortcake

Ingredients

• 1 plain pound cake or angel food cake
• Whipped cream, preferably chilled
• Strawberry jam or jelly

Basic Instructions

1. Slice the cake into preferred portion sizes, and lay each one flat on a small plate.
2. Spread jelly or jam all over one side of each slice (like you’re making a PB&J, but only with J).
3. Spoon a dollop or two of whipped cream on top of each slice.
4. Serve it before someone runs off with it. xD

For More Epic Results

1. Instead of serving each slice individually after spooning whipped cream on top, stack the slices together in groups of 3 slices.
2. Re-slice each stack into 3 or 4 fairly thick slices (so all the whipped cream, cake, and strawberry jelly/jam sticks together better).
3. The stripey pieces that result should look kinda like a British ribbon sandwich at this point. If it doesn’t, that’s okay–it’ll still taste of awesome.)
4. Serve (carefully), and listen for the oohs and aahs of amazement from your dining party.