Genesis 16:3-5; Genesis 25:12-18

16:3 So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian maidservant Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. 4 He slept with Hagar, and she conceived. When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress. 5 Then Sarai said to Abram, “You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my servant in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the Lord judge between you and me.”

25:12 This is the account of the family line of Abraham’s son Ishmael, whom Sarah’s slave, Hagar the Egyptian, bore to Abraham…18 His descendants settled in the area from Havilah to Shur, near the eastern border of Egypt, as you go toward Ashur. And they lived in hostility toward all the tribes related to them.

Here, we see hostility spilling down the generations. Sarai (later Sarah) and Hagar despise each other (mostly over the fact of Hagar being fertile and Sarah being barren at this point), which leads to their sons and further descendants hating each other.

Ever had a feud in your family that went on so long you even forgot what it was about? I think just about every family has. Yes, every family, even the most Christian of families, has feuds with each other at some point, and it’s something we have to deal with in a Godly way.

Feuds, Big or Small, are Threats to Our Faith

Some families split right down the middle when it comes to a specific issue, something as small as a sports feud right up to an irreconcilable difference on faith. Sometimes finances and relationship strife get in the way of togetherness; sometimes job stress distances a family so that togetherness is a foreign concept. Or, as Sarah and Hagar show us, sometimes the issue between you is so petty and stupid that you can’t even justify why you’re mad at each other.

But why continue to live in a condition which we ourselves hate? Why keep up hostility that ends up separating us from God (because who can worship when you’re focusing on how much you hate so-and-so)? The anger between Sarah and Hagar illustrates how negative emotions can pull us away from the will of God, and that still happens to even the most God-fearing of families.

How to Fix It? COMMUNICATE!

What we must do is to work to bring ourselves back together again. For the Christian family, focusing on bringing God back into the house is a huge step–the family that worships together plays together better, too, and the family that prays together is more in tune with each other. When you worship and pray together, you’re more likely to be talking about more things together, which, in time, may lead to old issues being aired and normal family communication being restored.

But even if you aren’t Christian, family communication is of utmost importance. After all, when family members take meals in separate rooms staring at different television screens and you go a whole day without speaking to one another, how can you communicate–how can you heal?