Ephesians 5:21-24
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Note the first verse of this excerpt: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Paul isn’t saying that the husband equals the Lord and the wife should abase herself before him. This passage is the beginning of an analogy, showing the similarity between a marriage relationship and the relationship between Christ and the church. “Submitting” in this context does not mean that there should be inequality or superiority/inferiority between husband and wife.

A past boyfriend of mine quoted this to me as proof that the Bible supports male superiority. I disagreed, and the larger section from which these verses are taken (Ephesians 5:21-33) disagrees with that assertion as well. Christian submission in marriage means voluntarily compromising, helping, hearing and acknowledging the other person’s viewpoint, and ultimately respecting each other. As we submit to Christ’s teachings and God’s will, so must husband and wife submit to helping each other.

This means that neither husband nor wife will always get their way; this means a lot of emotional work and maintenance throughout married life. It also means that each person’s pride and selfishness is put aside in favor of seeking God’s will and what is best for the other person. This is, after all, how Christ commanded us to treat each other–serving each other and putting God first.