Category Archives: Tuesday on the Soapbox

Anything from politics and current events to strange and beautiful life philosophies.

Smartphones: 4 Great Care and Usage Tips

July 23, 2013 Robin Leave a comment

The perks of using a smartphone are things I’m just now getting used to–being able to check my email from anywhere, stay updated on news and social media without turning on the computer, and having true mobile gaming, among many other things.

But smartphones also bring with them a new set of concerns. What do you do about scratches and shattered cases–do you try to repair or get a new phone? How do you charge the thing without feeling deprived for hours as it lies connected firmly to the wall?

While the following post is not a comprehensive list of smartphone hacks, these are all things I’ve personally used to make my smartphone-owning life a lot easier. I think these tips can help you, too.

#1: Use Airplane Mode

One of the greatest tricks I ever learned from the Internet was how to use Airplane Mode to charge my phone WAY faster. In Airplane Mode (found in Settings, most likely), your phone doesn’t have to use energy for data or cell phone signal, so the battery can charge super-fast. However, Airplane Mode also works great for those times when your data or wireless signal is being a little bit finicky–toggling Airplane Mode on and off in the space of about a minute is akin to resetting your wireless router.

#2: Buy a Strong, Protective Case

A case that fully covers your phone (to protect against scratches) and is strong enough to withstand drops is much better than paying for a new phone every few months. I personally use the Otterbox Defender, which has already saved my iPhone (and my sanity) several times. This article at Hongkiat.com shows a few other tough smartphone cases. These cases ARE a bit bulkier, but they do the job.

#3: Clean Your Screen

Clean your screen and any other exposed bits of your smartphone regularly with a soft cloth and spray meant for eyeglasses–I use just a little squirt of eyeglass spray on the cloth, and then wipe down the screen to get rid of collected face and fingertip grease. This helps SO much to not have to touch a dirty greasy phone every day!

#4: Shut Down and Restart Every Week

If you think that shutting down and restarting is only for your computer, think again. I’ve gotten into the practice of shutting down and restarting my phone every Sunday night–it REALLY helps the performance of my phone. After all, that smartphone you hold is a miniature computer; it needs a little rest and relaxation, too! This can really help if you’re having some weird performance issues or display bugs. (Just like with the computers, turning it off and on again can fix most things, LOL)

Tuesday on the Soapbox

Cooking Fails: I’m Not Alone!

July 16, 2013 Robin 3 Comments

My cooking fails are pretty legendary (not quite as legendary as this triple-layer-fail above, but pretty amazing). From burnt popcorn that set off my dorm’s fire alarm to Hamburger Helper that overflowed out of the skillet and covered about half the stove, I’ve made some pretty big kitchen bloopers in my day. But it looks like I’m not the only one with problems in the kitchen–at least, if these pictures are to be believed!

Someone took the directions a little too literally–and mathematically. XD

We’re having fried eggs for breakfast…and fried shells, too, apparently.

The plaintive note along with the aforementioned chewy cupcakes makes this all the funnier.

Hey, I’ve made those pancakes before–they make great Frisbees!

This is, um…a rather creative take on boiling pasta…

Mmm, melted cutting board, my favorite!

I’m sensing a distinct lack of a muffin tin here.

Yep, that’s an ELECTRIC kettle burned onto a stove eye. I think Grandma may have been oblivious to what “electric kettle” means.

I’ve heard of sticky rice, and I’ve heard of rice cakes. This right here is a giant rice CLUMP.

That egg is not just hard-boiled, it’s PURPLE-boiled.

Um, I know dry spaghetti looks like long fireplace matches, but dang.

Methinks somebody microwaved this can with the metal lid on.

Whatever this may have been before the oven got to it, it is now “Unrecognizable Nom.”

And these three images teach us that food should never be cooked on a bare oven rack…

Yep, I’ve burned several thousand calories with this method, and it did help me lose weight–sorta, in a roundabout way…LOL

In case you were wondering, plastic doesn’t really cook things that well on the stove.

This has to be the laziest addition of cheese to pasta I’ve ever seen.

Pro tip: When there’s heat in the oven, that’s a good thing. When there’s an actual FIRE in the oven, something is WRONG.

Tuesday on the Soapbox

The Pros and Cons of Straight Hair

July 9, 2013 Robin 14 Comments

There are quite a few blog articles out there about dealing with curly hair, but not a lot about straight hair, I’ve noticed. Most folks believe that curly hair is the harder type of hair to deal with, whereas straight hair seems “easier.” As an owner of straight hair, I believe I may be able to set the record straight (hee hee) about how it is to live with straight hair (and to love it, in fact!).

A Little Background, Please

I’ve had stick-straight, fine hair my entire life, and up until a few years ago, I despaired of being able to do anything with it. With my oval face shape and curvier body size, big, glossy, voluminous curls looks REALLY great on me…BUT they take many hours and lots of product to achieve. (And even then, the curls aren’t guaranteed to stay. See: prom night, when I let down my sponge-rollers after 17 hours of letting my mousse- and gel-soaked hair dry in them…and promptly saw that hard-won curl relax into straightness again. Much ARGH.) And what about the Great Brillo-Pad Spiral Perm of 1991? Let’s just not go there. :S

But a few years ago, I realized that even though I didn’t have the big amazing curls I thought I wanted, I did have something quite lovely in its own regard; straight, shiny hair.

This is how my hair dries naturally, with no product in it at all–glossy, smooth, and straight. For years I bemoaned the fact that I could do nothing “cool” with my hair…not realizing that this style was “cool” in and of itself. There are curly-haired girls who get up extra-early every morning and work for two solid hours to get their hair to look like this (much to my surprise!).

I’ve generally kept my hair long and center-parted like this, and so I’ve ended up with a head of fairly easy-care hair, quite by accident. Many women cannot say that; they continue to fight their natural texture every day, as I did for several years. I suppose the big difference is that I finally got tired of fighting my hair texture and decided to run with it instead.

So, without further ado, I present to you “The Pros and Cons of Straight Hair;” straight-haired girls will probably nod and laugh, and curly-haired girls may just sit and wonder at how the “other half” lives. LOL

Pros of Straight Hair	Cons of Straight Hair
No need for frizz serums Very, VERY shiny 😀 Looks tidy and sleek without much effort Smooths down flat to your head for sophisticated updos Braids easily A little easier to detangle (note, I said “a little”) Easy to part Things wash out of it easily (shampoo, peanut butter, marinara sauce…hey, I have long hair that likes to dip itself in food occasionally) Strong, doesn’t break off easily	Want volume? Really? Seriously? Uh, NO. Barrettes, clips, and bobby pins slide right out of your hair if they aren’t glued in or cemented in with hairspray (NOT kidding) Shows greasy roots/excess hair product very easily “Bedhead” texture = not cute with straight hair. More like “strung-out-on-something” texture. Hair elastics must be wrapped around the hair 3 or 4 times for it to hold the hair firmly enough Curling your straight hair? Don’t bother if your hair is longer than shoulder-length; the sheer weight of your hair will drag the curl right out in MINUTES. Hairspray turns straight hair into an unmoving mass, like a frozen curtain Any clip or barrette that has been put into your hair runs the risk of leaving a very noticeable “dent” in your hair when it’s taken out (very unflattering)

Pros of Straight Hair

Cons of Straight Hair

No need for frizz serums
Very, VERY shiny 😀
Looks tidy and sleek without much effort
Smooths down flat to your head for sophisticated updos
Braids easily
A little easier to detangle (note, I said “a little”)
Easy to part
Things wash out of it easily (shampoo, peanut butter, marinara sauce…hey, I have long hair that likes to dip itself in food occasionally)
Strong, doesn’t break off easily

Want volume? Really? Seriously? Uh, NO.
Barrettes, clips, and bobby pins slide right out of your hair if they aren’t glued in or cemented in with hairspray (NOT kidding)
Shows greasy roots/excess hair product very easily
“Bedhead” texture = not cute with straight hair. More like “strung-out-on-something” texture.
Hair elastics must be wrapped around the hair 3 or 4 times for it to hold the hair firmly enough
Curling your straight hair? Don’t bother if your hair is longer than shoulder-length; the sheer weight of your hair will drag the curl right out in MINUTES.
Hairspray turns straight hair into an unmoving mass, like a frozen curtain
Any clip or barrette that has been put into your hair runs the risk of leaving a very noticeable “dent” in your hair when it’s taken out (very unflattering)

What do you think? Have I hit the nail on the head (or the hair)? 😛 Let me know in the comments!

Tuesday on the Soapbox

“Silent” Migraines: They DO Exist

July 2, 2013 Robin 1 Comment

Confused by the title of this article? I was just as confused when I first began to realize I suffered silent migraines. I didn’t even know quite what they were until I began doing some migraine research on my own, and discovered this strange sub-type of migraine headaches, which has only recently been researched.

How Regular Migraines and “Silent” Migraines Compare

Migraines vary a lot from person to person, and each migraine sufferer can even experience various types of migraines. Most migraines follow a basic pattern like the following:

Prodrome phase, or the “Watch out, a migraine is coming!” phase. During prodrome, you can become more irritable, confused, or experience weird physical symptoms of sickness out of nowhere. 1 out of 4 people with migraines have this, sometimes even a full day before the migraine officially hits.
Aura phase, characterized by just plain weirdness going on in your senses. You may see flashes of color or lightning-bolt patterns zigzagging across your vision; you might hear random high pitches or strange noises that aren’t in the actual environment. You might even have some problems with speaking or writing, though not as pronounced as stroke victims. 1 in 5 people with migraines have this, and it usually lasts about an hour.
Pain phase, also known as the “please kill me now” phase. Throbbing pain, usually on one side of your head, sometimes death-gripping a vein in your forehead and sometimes stabbing into your eye, is common. Plus, the intense head pain can trigger your stomach into nausea, and everything in your environment is either BRIGHT, LOUD, or both at once. Basically, it sidelines you from your life for however long it decides to last. (Oh, and if you didn’t take medicine during the Prodrome or Aura phase, you have to ride the Pain phase out on your own–any medicine just flat won’t work once the pain is in full swing. This is what a lot of non-migraine sufferers just don’t get. X_x)
Resolution phase, or “thank God it’s over.” After an event like this, you’ll be very tired and cranky for a good while, sometimes even a full day after the migraine finally decides to vacate the premises of your head.

But silent migraines are a strange sub-breed–strange in that the sufferer can experience prodrome, aura, and resolution, but never experiences pain.

Symptoms of a Silent Migraine

At first, I was overjoyed to learn that some of my migraines could in fact be silent. “You mean I can have a normal life occasionally?!” I thought. “Heck, if I didn’t have to go through all that pain, I’d be happy to live with a ‘silent migraine!'”

Well, I thought that at least until I started looking at the symptom list:

Physical Symptoms

diarrhea
nausea
vomiting
food cravings
loss of appetite
thirst
increased urination
chills
fatigue
vertigo

Emotional/Mental Symptoms

confusion
irritability
euphoria
amnesia

Aura Symptoms

wavy or jagged lines, dots, or spots in your vision
flashing lights
blind spots
cloudy/blurry vision
tunnel vision
disruptions in hearing/hearing loss
auditory hallucinations
distortions in smell or taste
numbness
pins-and-needles sensations
other unusual body sensations
difficulty remembering or saying a word
other language difficulties

Sources for this table: WebMD.com; Migraine.com

When I read this list, I was shocked: so many of the conditions I have had to become accustomed to experiencing, either with head pain or without, are all over this list. The most random food cravings or complete loss of appetite, with no stomach disturbance apparent; difficulty remembering words, so rampant that I thought something was wrong with me mentally; pins-and-needles feelings all over my body, for no reason. Most if not all of these symptoms precede my head pain, but even when they don’t, I end up absolutely exhausted afterwards, just like I’ve had a migraine.

It’s almost easier to have the head pain than not have it, in some ways, because these symptoms by themselves don’t make much sense. Saying “I have a migraine” is at least understandable to most folks, even if they have the blissful ignorance of never experiencing migraines for themselves. But saying “Hey, I have a migraine–well, sorta, kinda–well, actually, I’m not having a headache per se, but I have all the other symptoms…yeah…?” Not only is it a headache to try to explain, but it sounds suspiciously like a cop-out excuse. Let me assure you, it is NOT.

Why Are Silent Migraines “Silent?”

People have thought for years that migraines were just the result of blood flow being squeezed off to one part of the brain–that the sudden contraction of a vein, followed by the normal amount of blood trying to stuff itself through the resulting bottleneck, creates the pain. Blood gridlock, in other words.

However, now some new research involving fMRI (functional MRI) machines has uncovered a neurological component to migraines. Basically, the nerve cells in various bits of the brain get WAY overstimulated right before a migraine event, and then sink WAY down in activity. The neighboring blood vessels swell up, or dilate, to deliver more blood to the overstimulated nerve cells–and a migraine is born.

This heightened nerve activity is what causes all the weird visual, auditory, and sensory hallucinations present in a classic migraine’s Aura phase. But sometimes, apparently, the heightened nerve activity happens, but doesn’t trigger the blood vessels to dilate…which results in a silent migraine. The brain is still just as bothered and irritable as it would be during a regular migraine, but there’s no physical blood-vessel pain to go with it.

A Silent Migraine By Any Other Name is Just as Weird

Silent migraines can pop up in anyone’s brain, no matter if you’ve had regular painful migraines or not. Silent migraines are also called:

Acephalgic migraine
Isolated visual migraine
Amigranous migraine
Late-onset migraine accompaniment (for people over 40 who suddenly get their first migraine aura symptoms)
Migraine dissocie (French for a “migraine disassociated” from pain)
Migraine equivalent/migraine variant
Typical aura without headache

Sources for this list: Migraine.com; Headaches.About.com

(Note: Ocular migraine is often a painless migraine with weird visual symptoms, but nothing auditory or sensory. Silent migraines run the gamut of physical symptoms of migraine, just without the pain.)

Whatever you want to call it. it’s just plain weird. And it could be occurring in your own head a lot more often than you realize, especially if any or all of those symptoms in the above list seem familiar.

How to Treat a Silent Migraine

As I did research for this very article, I began to wonder if I wasn’t walking around with a constant silent migraine, which occasionally morphed into its bigger badder sibling when I wasn’t looking. I had about grown used to walking around feeling like gum scraped off somebody’s shoe–but what if there was a way to stop it?

First of all, I suggest that if you’re experiencing anything like these symptoms, with head pain or without, you need to get checked out by a doctor. Occasionally, these symptoms can warn of more serious things like trans-ischemic attacks (aka “mini-strokes”) or epileptic seizures.

However, if you’ve gotten checked and the doctor tells you it’s migraines, silent or otherwise, then here are some of the best treatments:

Take your prescribed medication as quick as you can. Remember what I said about medicine not working if you take it too late in the Pain phase? Yeah.
Be careful what medication you take. My migraines are made worse by caffeine, for instance, so I have to avoid medicine that includes caffeine in its pill, like Excedrin Migraine or Bayer Migraine. Finding a med that works for your personal migraines is about 50/50 trial/error and luck.
Get to a quiet, restful place with dim or no lighting, and lie down if possible.
If you can stand the noise and light, turn on some light entertainment to take your mind off the pain. Most people suggest absolutely dark and silent rooms, but I find that I go absolutely bonkers with boredom, lying there with only my pain to focus on till either the medication works or I drift off to fitful sleep. Thus, I usually choose a favorite comedy DVD, turn the volume a little lower than normal, and shut my eyes to listen to it. The laughter helps, as long as you don’t laugh so hard that you make your head hurt worse!
Most people say their migraines are helped by sleep; if you feel like you could drift right off, go ahead. Just make sure that your neck is not in a weird position, otherwise, you could end up with a nasty tension headache moving in where your migraine left off. (Speaking from experience here…ugh.)
When your migraine is over, do your best to get some good rest, eat well (especially if nausea left you without an appetite before), and de-stress. Lack of sleep and food plus excess stress pretty much equals a migraine. This can be very difficult to achieve in this day and time, but if you don’t want to be sidelined for days with a migraine, it might be worth it to try these tips.

I find, generally, that my silent migraine symptoms are a little less in intensity than my painful migraine symptoms. Nevertheless, these symptoms are nothing to play around with. If you can get those little nerve cells to quit misbehaving a little sooner, you’ll feel much better; the above treatments, which are usually for “classic” migraines, actually do work for silent ones too!

For Further Information

Silent Migraine @ Migraine.com
What Are Silent Migraines? @ WebMD.com
What is a Silent Migraine? @ Headaches.about.com
Acephalgic Migraine @ Wikipedia

Tuesday on the Soapbox

Weekly Procrastination Chart

June 25, 2013 Robin Leave a comment

What you see here is a reconstruction of real events–namely, a regular procrastination-laden week in my life. Hilariously (and sadly) true…

(Side note: If you’re wondering why Monday is green, Thursday is orangey-brown, etc…it has to do with my synesthesia. Every day of the week has an associated color in my brain! :D)

Tuesday on the Soapbox

My Fading Love Affair with Processed Food

June 18, 2013 Robin Leave a comment

As an adult picky eater (and I do mean picky), the simple process of eating has been ridiculously hard most of my life. Thus, when I find the rare food item that I really enjoy (i.e., food that tastes great, has a good texture, and doesn’t make my tummy roar at me later), I tend to stick with it.

But over the last few months, I have observed with distress as my taste buds have slowly turned away from once-favorite foods. The common denominator between all these foods? All of them are processed within an inch of their lives.

The First Sign: Fast Food is No Longer My Friend

At first, I thought I was just reacting to a lower quality of food in my local fast food restaurants. First, the beef at Taco Bell started tasting “off,” as if it had been kept too long in the fridge. Then, the meat on McDonald’s burgers started tasting and feeling like crumbling shoe leather in my mouth. Other food quality issues arose afterwards, and soon I was even pickier than usual at all the local fast-food places.

I thought it was strange, but I tried to work around the “new” rules of my picky taste buds. No more McDonald’s meat, no more ground beef tacos, etc…

But Fast Food is Not the Only Issue

…Unfortunately, the pickiness did not stop there. I began eating less of the American sliced cheese I had loved since childhood, simply because it didn’t really taste like cheese anymore. There was an odd, plastic-y overtone to the taste, which I had never detected before–and it was utterly disgusting. Even switching cheese brands didn’t seem to help. I still liked cheese, most definitely, but the sliced cheese product didn’t suit anymore.

Not to mention that many of my favorite boxed meals from the grocery store started tasting funny. For instance, I used to live on Velveeta shells-n-cheese, yet I began getting sick at the taste–both the cheese and the pasta sometimes tasted like plastic to me. It didn’t seem like just being tired of eating a certain dish, since I try to switch up my food choices as much as possible. It just seemed that certain foods, which all happened to be processed, didn’t taste right anymore.

The Result: One Hungry Tummy

It seemed like all my favorite foods, all my go-to foods when going out to eat, were vanishing off my “favorite” list, one by one. And it was not the biggest list in the world to start out with, because of my lifelong issues with food texture (and a strong gag reflex that gets set off at the slightest thing). When 70% of “adult food” is off-limits because of pickiness, and 95% of what you DO like has suddenly become anathema, what DO you eat?

That was the burning question, and it still is. In desperation, I’ve gone back to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, basic breads and pastas, or anything that doesn’t have the awful processed taste in such abundance. Yet I still walk around hungry most of the time, as if what I’m eating isn’t providing me with any nourishment.

Most people who look at me would think I eat all the time, to be the size that I am (flirting with 300 pounds at the moment). But instead, I eat significantly LESS than all my skinny, less picky friends, and I simply stay hungry–so much so that I have had low blood sugar attacks due to the reduced food intake. I WANT to eat, but almost nothing appeals to me anymore. And I have begun to suspect that the “plastic” taste and texture which has become so revolting to me is actually the result of processing food for longer shelf life.

Where to Go from Here?

Since my taste buds have apparently shifted allegiances for good, I honestly don’t know what to do with them anymore. Most of my favorite foods date back to childhood, and it’s frankly disconcerting to suddenly dislike foods that I remember loving and indulging in. Not to mention that these foods have sustained me while I avoided all sorts of other “normal” adult food.

Quite simply, I find myself at a loss every time I get hungry, because I have no idea what my taste buds will accept and what they won’t accept. And since I hate wasting money on food that I won’t end up eating, it makes it difficult to try new foods. It feels suspiciously like being caught between a rock and a hard place.

An Odd Side Note: Lettuce is a New Food Friend?

Yet, in the midst of all this loss, I have noticed something strange–I find myself thinking longingly of dishes like dark green Romaine lettuce with ranch dressing. For anyone who knows me, this is WAYYYYYY out of character; I historically have avoided most lettuce because it just tastes like crunchy paper soaked in water. Yet recently, the darker green lettuce types have become more appealing to me, as have spinach (when blended with cheese) and scallions. I also have no idea why this is happening, either, only that it began around the same time processed food began tasting strange to me.

Is This My Body’s Way of Saying “Eat Healthy?”

I honestly don’t know what to make of all this change in my appetite. Has anyone else experienced a sudden negative reaction to processed foods after eating them most of their lives? Or has anyone experienced a sudden positive reaction to lettuce and other “healthy” foods? I’d be glad to hear about it in the comments!

Tuesday on the Soapbox

A Most Useful Meme: Actual Advice Mallard

June 11, 2013 Robin Leave a comment

With the emergence of so many new memes across the Internet, it can be hard to pick out the best and brightest. One that I think deserves a lot more recognition is the “Actual Advice Mallard” meme–each one contains clever and useful life advice, a life hack, or a handy tip to make things easier, printed on a picture of a green-headed (male) mallard duck.

Here are just a few samples of Actual Advice Mallards from across the Internet:

This REALLY works, and not just for pizza–it works for any food that you want to rehydrate after a night in the fridge!

Very, VERY wise words…

(Important note: Check the Wikipedia page’s sources and make sure they are reliable and trustworthy before putting them on your source list–the content of your paper is far more important than not sourcing Wikipedia in your bibliography. This advice brought to you by a former English teacher.)

(Also known as: Don’t argue back while your parent is talking.)

Such appropriate advice for our time.

I’ve tried this fix, and it absolutely works–I’ve got two pairs of pants I’ve fixed with this advice.

Very important, especially while outside in direct sunlight!

Steam, also known as “the lazy person’s iron.” LOL

This needs to be plastered on every road billboard in my town.

From experience, I can say AMEN to this!

For all us job seekers out there!

SUCH TRUTH

I’m going to print this and put it in my wallet…XD

I can’t believe I never thought of this!

Something to keep in mind, especially for the summer months here in the Southeast!

Never knew about this little keyboard shortcut!

For More Actual Advice Mallard:

(Warning, some Actual Advice Mallards may have curse words)

Actual Advice Mallard @ Tumblr
Quickmeme
Memestache
Memebase

Tuesday on the Soapbox

Sleeping Well: It Makes a Difference

June 4, 2013 Robin Leave a comment

Today, I’ll be doing just a short post to make a point: sleeping is a LOT more important than most of us think. As I have found out from the following personal experience, it’s far more important to daily function…and you’d be surprised how changed you are by just a lack of good rest!

I Slept, but I Did Not Rest

For months, now, I’ve been having a problem sleeping; though my body was absolutely exhausted, my brain never seemed to shut up. I would be uselessly awake until 4 or 5 in the morning, fighting to sleep yet never quite falling under, and then finally would fall asleep just as the sun was beginning to rise, awakening later in the morning (or sometimes in the afternoon).

But even though it seemed like I was sleeping enough hours, I never felt like I’d had enough sleep. My brain whirred even as I slept, producing strange dreams and waking me up every hour or so until it was time to get up again. I shut my eyes and was kind of unconscious for a while, but it was an uneasy, dozing sort of sleep, not restful at all.

Weird Body/Mind Symptoms

During this time, in which this behavior became slowly “the norm” for me, I noticed I had less and less ability to concentrate, was far more irritable than normal, and had absolutely no interest in doing anything I used to love doing. Whatever I happened to be doing at any given time, my brain wanted to be doing something “different,” something more “interesting.” But nothing I tried seemed to quite fit the bill. It almost felt like an oncoming lapse of depression.

Getting my weekly work of blog posts, Sunday school lessons, and housework completed felt nigh on to impossible with this kind of foggy, hateful brain; I was constantly restless and frustrated, and worries about all the things I hadn’t gotten done, which only added to the inability to go to sleep when night came. I didn’t want to start taking sleeping pills for fear I’d get too dependent on them and lose the ability to go to sleep naturally. (I’ve got two pharmacists for parents; I know what such drugs can do!)

The ultimate fail here? I didn’t connect my lack of sleep to my slowly worsening everyday function. I thought, as mentioned before, that I was lapsing back into depression–that’s exactly what it felt like. Plus, one of the symptoms of my depression, historically speaking, has been insomnia…it created a weird loop of logic that I was frankly too tired to explore too far.

The Random Restful Night of Sleep

And then, a few days ago, the storm of unrestful sleep broke, suddenly. I found myself sleepy around 9:00 PM that evening (a true rarity!), and experimentally, I set aside my glasses on the nightstand and turned over onto my side.

Imagine my surprise when I woke up almost 8 hours later, thinking I had only been asleep about 20 minutes or so! It seemed that against all odds, I had finally gotten a full night of sleep which didn’t feel like I was lying there waiting for the alarm to ring. I had fallen into absolute, blissful unconsciousness, without the aid of a single pill.

And the strangest thing?

I had ENERGY. I had FOCUS. I got stuff DONE. And all this before 10:00 AM?! I was shocked. For the last four months, I had been literally unable to peel myself from the bed before 11:00 AM, and that was “early.” I would try to get up and would fall back asleep in the middle of sitting up, in the middle of dressing, etc. But after this random night of inexplicable, restful sleep, it seemed I could actually get up like a normal person.

Not only did I get up, I stayed awake the whole day, and felt much more functional and much more “at myself.” I didn’t lose concentration all the time, I didn’t have to have 3 bazillion tasks going to keep my brain from being painfully bored, and I wasn’t sitting around feeling jittery and frustrated. It was as if someone had pressed “Restart” on my brain.

What Produced This Anomalous Night of Sleep?

Thinking back on it, I did a few things very differently on that fateful evening:

I had to charge my smartphone, and the outlet is far away from my bed, so I couldn’t use the phone while in bed
I wasn’t using my computer because I (surprise) had finished all my computer tasks for the day
Nothing interesting was on TV, so I didn’t have it on
I had no food or drinks left in my bedroom
I hadn’t drunk anything in about an hour or two, so I wasn’t having to get up to go to the bathroom
My bed was actually made up properly (for once, LOL)

In short, I removed all of the normal distractions (food, Internet, TV, bathroom breaks, etc.) and had made the bed as comfortable as possible. Then, I just allowed myself to shut my eyes without worrying that I was going to go crazy with boredom. (Couple that with the fact that I was REALLY exhausted already, and it’s no wonder I fell asleep and stayed asleep!)

Moral of the Story: Remove All Distractions, Get Comfy, and Let Sleep Happen

I’m serious–it really helps. Those are the only factors of my situation I changed, and I got the best sleep I’d had in months. If you’re having any of the distressing symptoms I was having, try doing anything you can to get decent sleep–you might just wake up healed!

Tuesday on the Soapbox

“Well, It’s Fixed, Ain’t It?” Crazy and Hilarious Repairs

May 28, 2013 Robin Leave a comment

The Internet is chock-full of people repurposing items…but the people responsible for the following set of pictures took “repurposing” to a new level. Repairing various items with only the tools and materials on-hand sounds like an admirable, MacGyver-esque task, but sometimes, the results are less than professional and more than a little crazy.

Each of these pictures features a “kludge” (a funny/crazy repair of this sort)…scroll down and get ready to laugh and/or be amazed!

Well, it does the job well enough, I guess…

I dunno about you, but I think I’d just knock.

When you don’t have an oven or a microwave…use a space heater!

Replace the headlamp, you say?…NAAAAH!

This coffeemaker’s lid has been pried open, the filter looks like repurposed paper, and the coffeepot doesn’t even fit under the spout. This is about as kludgey as it gets.

Well, the good news is that their new soft-top (soft-tarp?) kinda matches the car paint…

When you REALLY don’t want anybody getting into (or out of) the house.

All’s well until those chains break and send kids hurtling away like rockets!

No, no, I meant put the hangers on the CLOTHES rack, not the OVEN rack!

This looks like an engine fire waiting to happen.

I don’t think the child safety belts will reach out the back that far.

Good news: this car is now road-trip-ready. Bad news: no more seeing out the back window.

I’ve heard of using duct tape for everything, but using the whole ROLL on ONE thing? LOL

Well, I guess this kinda covers the hole in the road. Sorta.

When you absolutely NEED a fan pointed in a certain direction, at a certain height…

Not sure whether this guy was trying for a super-cool spoiler or a radio antenna with better range.

I love how most of it is wrapped around with yellow electrical tape, as if that makes it 100% safer.

It’s a Frankencar!

So, someone is familiar with the Internet, but not tile repair.

Of all the chairs to put in a vehicle, they chose an uncomfortable-as-all-get-out plastic school chair?

See more hilarious kludges at: There, I Fixed It

Tuesday on the Soapbox

Armchair Critics: A Pet Peeve Personified

May 21, 2013 Robin Leave a comment

Too many times, I’ve seen it happen: a person who can’t dance criticizes a dancer at a competition, saying “Even I could do better than her! She’s awful!” Or somebody snickers at a singer on The Voice or American Idol, calling the person “terrible” even though they themselves have never taken any formal voice lessons. These kind of people irritate me no end–I call them “armchair critics,” because they make negative judgments without knowing the least little bit of what they’re criticizing.

These days, however, I’m seeing another type of armchair critic–the fiction armchair critics, lobbing fireballs of negativity at both book and author, despite never having attempted writing any kind of fiction themselves. Much of the criticism surrounding books like the Twilight series and the 50 Shades series seems to fall into this category, at least for me.

As a budding novelist and holder of a Bachelor’s degree in English, I am accustomed to criticizing literature in an academic sense; I freely admit that neither of these mentioned book series are exactly the heights of literature. But let’s set aside opinions about books of this type for a second and think about the principle behind negative, biased, non-academic criticism. How much sense does it make to criticize someone else for doing something you’ve never attempted and therefore know nothing about?

To me, it makes no sense at all. It’s almost as if the armchair critics believe that their criticism will make a quality book magically appear–they toss their criticism far and wide on the Internet, decrying the books they dislike as “wastes of paper,” etc., yet I don’t see them writing any “quality” literature for us to read instead.

Thoughtful Criticism: More Than Just Opinions

I believe that if we are to offer the best and most thoughtful criticism of anything, we must first have an understanding of the effort and processes behind whatever we’re criticizing. Thus, for criticizing successful fiction, we must first have tried to write successful fiction–we must have grappled with creating a relatable, believable character, must have worked to choose exactly the right words to paint a scene, etc.

Doing so will not only make us more knowledgeable about the work of writing, but more understanding about the struggles of an author. Then, and only then, will we be able to offer an in-depth and HELPFUL critique of an author’s work. That’s part of what criticism is for, anyway–to help someone else better their work.

My Solution: Armchair Critics, Go and Write!

So, here is my solution for all the fiction armchair critics out there: if you think you can write a better book series than Twilight, 50 Shades of Grey, etc., then do so. Start crafting an original idea in your head; create your characters, give them life on the blank page. Mold that storyline so that it conveys the overarching meaning you’re trying to communicate to the audience. Shape those themes, sculpt that imagery–really dig your proverbial fingers in and do the work that you have criticized others for doing so poorly. Experience what it is like to be an author. It’s not as easy as it looks!

If all the people who criticize Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey try out this solution, for instance, then the modern literary world should soon be inundated with a wealth of successful, quality fiction, if the critics’ opinions of themselves are to be believed. (And even if they aren’t successful, at least they will know more about what they’re criticizing!)