Tag Archives: humor

The Dumbest Thing I Have EVER Done in Webdesign

I’ve been prone to a few boneheaded design/development decisions since I began teaching myself HTML in the fall of 2003. We all have those moments, as webdesigners and as human beings–we all have huge foul-ups that we look back on later and laugh.

But this one, as you’ll see, takes the cake for “dumbest design ever;” it was July 2005, a scant year and a half after I had begun webdesign, and I attempted something I’d never done before (and haven’t done since).

The Infamous “Pink Layout”


This was my fourth layout for my domain, WithinMyWorld.org. Yes, yes, I know, you’re probably recoiling from your screen in horror right now. xD

Why might I consider this the “dumbest” design choice I’ve ever made? There are actually a few reasons:

  1. This layout used a color I absolutely abhor. I have hated pink, especially this Barbie shade, since I was a little girl, and I think my hatred for the color bled into the layout.
  2. I put in several images on this layout, but they were used in strange places (even underneath the content), which ultimately distracted user attention from the important bits of the site and made content difficult to read.
  3. I flung the navigation far to the left in this layout, as if it was in “Time-Out” or something. Users ended up having to hunt for the navigation instead of easily being able to click around my site.
  4. The largest text on the screen (specifically, “Within My World” and “Navigation”) used Scriptina, which is a gorgeous font. Unfortunately, I made it very difficult to read, especially the way I have it formatted with drop shadows and the like. Combined with the images and eye-searing color choices, the layout became just too “much.”

Basically, I went overboard with this layout in every way–I tried to stretch my designing wings and ended up about knocking the nest out of the tree, it seems. xD

How Can We Learn from This?

Acknowledging a foul-up is the first step to learning from it. Now that I’ve used this as a negative example, how can we learn better design from this?

Choose colors carefully.

When trying to choose a thematic color for your site, make sure the color fits your site and doesn’t detract from your content. In my case, the pink of this layout was not only an unfavorite color, but was also an overpowering color, taking away the attention that my content deserved.

It also didn’t fit the purpose of my site–this color belongs more on a fashion and beauty site/blog, or a breast-cancer awareness site. Color does more than just sit on a page; it symbolizes your content in ways you may not even be aware of. Making the most of those color associations can help your users categorize and enjoy your site more.

Use layout images to highlight content.

In this layout, I put images everywhere but where they needed to be. Nothing draws the user’s eye to the content–instead, your eye roams all over the place, not finding anywhere to really settle.

Instead, place detailed, eye-catching images within your content to further explain it, or place a few symbolic images in your header to make your site’s purpose clear without being distracting.

Put navigation in a highly-visible spot.

Don’t do what I did and push your site navigation out to the middle of nowhere. Navigation, like content, needs to be readily available so that users can actually USE your site. I kinda forgot about that when I was designing this page, and my site suffered as a result.

Ensure that your fonts are readable (even the decorative ones).

Beautiful fonts are awesome, but only when wisely used and formatted. Like I described earlier, Scriptina looks lovely, but I didn’t format it and use it to the best of its potential. What could have been graceful and light ended up chunky and almost illegible in parts.

When you’re choosing fonts for your site, whether it’s part of a decorative header or part of your page’s font selection, make sure your users can read them and that they won’t detract from the words those fonts are printing on screen. Those fonts are meant to communicate, not just look pretty!

How Webdesigning is Like Writing and Music

Since I both write music and literature outside of doing webdesign, I’ve found that the three activities are more similar than one might think otherwise. After all, they all activate my creativity, just in different ways; I play and design with pixels just like I do with notes and words.

So, here’s a little tongue-in-cheek webdesign philosophy for your Monday morning:

How is Webdesigning Like Writing?

  • Choosing just the right word for a description is like aligning each image pixel-perfectly on the screen.
  • In both writing and webdesign, the creator believes he or she has complete control over the final product, especially if working independently.
  • Both writers and webdesigners have the tendency to obsess over little details that nobody will actually notice.
  • Finding a missed typo in your writing is like finding a missed ending tag in your code–very annoying!

How is Webdesigning Like Music?

  • Little mistakes, whether in a browser or in performance, are rarely noticed by the audience.
  • Every musical performance is different, just like every Web browser renders a webpage a little differently.
  • What a listener gets out of a piece of music depends on his or her perspective and outlook on life; what a user gets out of a webpage depends on what browser and screen resolution he or she is using.
  • In both music and webdesign, no matter how many parts/harmony lines go into making it, it all renders as one beautiful whole to the audience.

Can you think of other ways that webdesign is like these art forms? What about other art forms (dance, visual art, etc.)? Leave me your thoughts in the comments! πŸ˜€

How The Right Music Makes Things Weirdly Funny

Today, I wanted to feature a very creative video from Youtube that’s always made me laugh, but has also puzzled me.

This is a scene from the 2005 film War of the Worlds (loosely adapted from the book by H.G. Wells), but instead of the original musical track for this scene, someone has put the theme music for The Benny Hill Show, a comedy variety show, in its place.

For some reason, this combination of scary/serious events plus this upbeat, whimsical music makes for hilarity–I find myself giggling even though I know I shouldn’t.

I’ve shown this to people who know what kind of show the music’s from, as well as people who’ve never even heard of Benny Hill, and both groups responded with laughter the same way I did. What is it about this music that makes this grim scene so funny?

I think it has something to do with how the music and visuals combine in a movie to affect our perception of the events. The original scene is terrifying and dramatic, not just because of the visuals, but because of the ominous, grand music in the background; putting the more comical music with it helps us take the visuals less seriously.

What do you think? What are some other reasons this video might make us laugh?

The Reigning Queen of Mondegreens: My Misheard Lyrics

Despite my love of literature and music, and despite my aptitude for both subjects, I am laughably terrible at deciphering verbal words, whether spoken or sung. Mumbled speech or not looking directly at a person’s lips while they are speaking leads to hilarious misunderstandings. And, as you’ll see in the following blog post, trying to decipher sung lyrics from a song can result in awesomely bad mondegreens.

Definition of a Mondegreen

From Dictionary.com:

mondegreen: a word or phrase resulting from a misinterpretation of a word or phrase that has been heard. (Origin: 1954; coined by Sylvia Wright, U.S. writer, from the line “laid him on the green,” interpreted as “Lady Mondegreen,” in a Scottish ballad.)

Some Examples


Song: “Shotgun” – Jr. Walker and the All-Stars; tune video to about 0:25

Actual Lyric The Lyric I Heard
“Shoot ‘im ‘fore he run now” “Shoot up Orville Redenbacher”

Upon hearing this song for the first time as a 10-year-old, I turned to my dad and asked, in this horrified voice, “Why do they wanna kill the popcorn man?!” LOL


Song: “Mickey” – Toni Basil; tune video to about 1:45

Actual Lyric The Lyric I Heard
“I’ll take it like a man” “I’m kinky like a man”

…My lyric makes sense, doesn’t it? Kinda…sorta? πŸ˜›


Song: “Hungry Eyes” – Eric Carmen; tune video to about 1:00

Actual Lyric The Lyric I Heard
“Hungry eyes” “Come three eyes”

Okay, okay, in my defense, I was 3 when I first heard the song… xD


Song: “Devil with the Blue Dress On/Good Golly Miss Molly” – Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels; tune video to about 2:05

Actual Lyric The Lyric I Heard
“See Miss Molly rockin’ in the house of delight” “See Miss Molly rockin’ in the house with good light”

And this is why you enunciate your words when you sing! Otherwise, people can hear all sorts of strangeness. πŸ˜›


Song: “Jesus Loves Me” – traditional Christian children’s hymn; tune video to about 0:34

Actual Lyric The Lyric I Heard
“They are weak but He is strong” “They are weak but He is JOAN!”

I never heard my Nannie laugh so hard as when I sung my version of “Jesus Loves Me” on the way home from Sunday school one morning. I think there’s a rather incriminating tape of this lying around the house somewhere… xD


Song: “You Sexy Thing” – Hot Chocolate; tune video to about 0:18

Actual Lyric The Lyric I Heard
“Where ya from, you sexy thing?” “What is wrong, you sexy thing?”

Until about two weeks ago, I thought my hearing of the lyric was correct. My boyfriend, whose ears seem to be incredibly accurate lyric-picker-uppers, corrected me. πŸ˜›


Song: “You Really Got Me” – The Kinks; tune video to about 0:33

Actual Lyric The Lyric I Heard
“You really got me!” “You really got mad!”

I went around singing this as a little kid, completely oblivious to my mishearing, till all the adults in the room busted out in big ole laughs. πŸ˜›

BONUS: Mondegreens from Mom and Dad

Apparently, I get this “talent” for mishearing lyrics honestly. Here are some of the mondegreens Mom and Dad have come up with over the years:


Song: “Five O’Clock World” – The Vogues; tune video to about 0:20

Actual Lyric The Lyric Mom Heard
“It’s a five o’clock world when the whistle blows” “It’s a five o’clock world and the wind’s so cold”


Song: “I Can’t Get No (Satisfaction)” – The Rolling Stones; tune video to 0:10

Actual Lyric The Lyric Dad Heard
“I can’t get no girl reaction” “I can’t get no gut reaction”


Song: “I Wanna Hold Your Hand” – The Beatles; tune video to about 1:00

Actual Lyric The Lyric Mom Heard
“I can’t hide” “I get hives”


Song: “Dance to the Music” – Sly and the Family Stone; tune video to about 1:05

Actual Lyric The Lyric Mom Heard
“I’m gonna add some bottom” “I’ve got a handsome bottom”


Song: “Black Water” – The Doobie Brothers; start video at beginning

Actual Lyric The Lyric Dad Heard
“I built me a raft and she’s ready for floatin'” “I built me a refuge, she’s ready for clover”

Why, Yes, That IS So True: Slices of Life in Animated GIF Form

If you’ve never been to That’s So True, you’re missing out on countless chances to LOL. Using animated GIFs of scenes from movies, TV shows, and Internet comics, submitters to the site tell their own funny stories–and believe me, there are quite a few gems to find!

Below are some of my selected favorites from That’s So True, simply reformatted for my blog. Enjoy!

I Identify with the Second GIF xD

when i’m cleaning
with music Icon
without it Icon

I Used to Live in Fear of These Moments…LOL

telling my parents something funny Icon
then they take it seriously Icon
and turn it into a life lesson Icon
and you just sit there like… Icon

True, Especially When It’s Too Hot to Move

What you think you’re gonna do during summer Icon
what you actually do Icon

Graduation at Various Levels of School

elementary school Icon
middle school Icon
high school Icon
college Icon

What always happens at Olive Garden

Super full from the all-you-can eat breadsticks and salad Icon
waitress comes with your entrΓ©e Icon

…This Face is Usually Accompanied With a Gasp and “…No!”

when your favorite character dies in a book Icon

This Happens to Me EVERY. TIME.

start to clean your room Icon
but then you find somthing you loved as a kid Icon
3 hours later Icon

Have I Ever Mentioned How Much I Hate Auto-Playing Sound? xD

Have a million tabs open on your computer Icon
mysterious music/ad starts playing Icon
scrambling to find source of sound Icon

Phrases Webdesigners Say

Author’s Note: This is done in the style of the popular “S–t ______ Say” videos and articles; I thought it would be a fun twist to include webdesigners in the scope of this meme. Enjoy!

  • “REALLY, Photoshop? You decide to crash RIGHT in the MIDDLE of my huge photo edit. Great.”
  • “I just woke from the most horrible dream–I dreamed I uploaded index.html and it killed my whole site!”
  • “Can I absolutely position this code where the sun don’t shine?”
  • “Don’t talk to me right now; I have to finish this pixel alignment first.”
  • “Am I REALLY going to have to put this layout in a table format to make it look right?”
  • “…*really big sigh* Go away, Internet Explorer. Just go away.”
  • “What the–‘Database parsing error?’ Are you KIDDING me?!”
  • “Ugh, I can’t go to sleep yet–these two divs just aren’t lining up straight.” (OCD, much? xD)
  • “No, I’m not going to the movie tonight. I have to stay home and update my websites…”
  • “Parse THIS, MySQL!”
  • “Whoever designed this buggy, horrible script deserves a sentence of 15 years–15 years of browsing the Internet with IE 6.”
  • “I have never wanted to strangle digital code so badly in my life.”
  • “What language am I even coding in anymore? Klingon?!”
  • “Okay, there is no reason this code should even work…but it does. Okay, fine, HTML, whatever.”
  • “I think I’m tied to the rails that Ruby’s on.” (reference)
  • “I’ve tried padding, I’ve tried margins, and I’ve tried absolute positioning. The only thing I haven’t tried is smashing the keyboard with my face.”
  • “…Shoot, it works. There IS a God.”
  • “Oh, Save button, I love you. Let me count the ways…I love that you save all my grueling HTML edits; I love that you never forget a single keystroke.”

…And Yes, We Really Do Say This Stuff…

Most of these are (sadly) direct quotes from my webdesign experience. Do you have any funny phrases you’ve uttered during your coding experience? Share them in the comments!

Keyboard Barf (a poem)

It is not my day for writing,
Though the “New File” button waits
It’s just not the day for writing,
‘Cause my brain is not in gear

I’ve begun to type a couple of lines,
But can’t continue my thoughts
So the Backspace key is my best friend
And the document remains blank

How am I supposed to create like this?
How am I supposed to write?
My brain won’t ignite, and will not take
The spark I’m trying to light

No plainer words can I state it in:
I’m well and truly stuck
Because every word that I’ve written so far
Just sounds like keyboard barf

…and ironically, this is probably the coolest poem I’ve written all year. My Muse has a maddening sense of humor.

Funny Clix and Star Wars Minis Juxtapositions

These are all pictures I took while gaming at various local shops over the years…I generally come up with funny ways to position Clix and SWMinis figures during longer games. xD Scroll down and enjoy!

HeroClix


Superman and Black Hand taking time out from the battle for a quick fist-bump.


The making of Iron Man V: Tony Stark Meets a Mirror


We know what Speedball’s really interested in, and it’s not dealing damage.


Nightwing’s kick is pretty powerful if it can age the Flash 50 years in one hit!


Funny, I never knew Galactus was a falconer…


Judging where Iron Fist’s Dragon Punch energy is coming from, this is either a huge ego boost for Power Man, or incredibly painful.


Nick Fury got tired of trying to explain Facebook to Captain America after the first 10 times…


The World-Eater himself is caught in the act of adding another gruesome line to his reputation.


When the paycheck from the newspaper wasn’t enough, Peter Parker had to get creative for his second job.


A sparkly-caped Justice, in the act of punching Mojo where it really hurts, apparently.


BONUS: This was an actual shower gel product sold in my local drugstore a few years ago, marketed to men. I LOL’ed, and then snapped this quick picture.


BONUS: The title of a Clix event we held at our local gaming shop a few years back–it was an all-female tourney event, as you might have guessed.


I took the liberty of decorating the dry-erase board with thematic illustrations for the event…


…Yeah, I couldn’t resist illustrating bloody beauty products for this tourney.

Star Wars Minis


Queen Amidala: “For the last time, Chewie, I have no idea what “raaaaaaaahhhaaaaaaaawwwrrrr” means!!”


This poor little soldier is about to find out why it’s dangerous to be crammed in a small space with a bunch of Jedi…OW.

It’s Almost 900! (A Tale of Epic Life-Gain)

It all started with me, my boyfriend, and two Magic decks we had never played against each other–his Zombie Clerics (known as “Priests of Pain and Drain”) against my Sanguine Bond & Boon Reflection (affectionately nicknamed “Sanguine Boon”) deck.


Priests of Pain and Drain decklist @ EssentialMagic.com

Sanguine Boon decklist @ EssentialMagic.com

The Opposing Strategies

My boyfriend’s Zombie Cleric deck’s strategy is actually pretty simple, revolving around a four-card combo: Cabal Archon, Rotlung Reanimator, Conspiracy, and any random Cleric to begin the fun. Use Cabal Archon to sacrifice Clerics to gain 2 life and make the opponent lose 2 life (this is called a “life swap”). Now, thanks to the Reanimator, the Clerics you sack through the Archon give you Zombie tokens, which then become Clerics themselves with the use of Conspiracy set to Clerics. Repeat cycle as long as you have mana to do it.

My Sanguine Boon deck is also pretty simple: gain enough life to be able to stall till I get Sanguine Bond (and, if I’m lucky, Boon Reflection). Then, play more super-cheap life-gain spells/abilities, causing major life loss through Sanguine Bond and the ability to draw more life-gain spells using Well of Lost Dreams. (I’ve spoken about this strategy before, but not in this larger context.)

How These Strategies Faced Off

My boyfriend’s strategy would have probably succeeded against mine in the early stages of the game, if I had not played an Isochron Scepter with Rest for the Weary imprinted on it. Ever after, every time I played a land, I would be gaining 8 life instead of just 4, and I could gain at least 4 life every turn. But, because I don’t play much offense in my deck, he was able to amass his combo fairly soon after I had played the Scepter-Rest combo, and so he was able to start draining me of my newly-gained life points.

Stalling Like Mad vs. Life Drain Like Mad

Fast-forward to about turn 25 or 30, and both of our decks were running at near-top capacity. I now had two Boon Reflections out, gaining 16 a turn off Rest for the Weary if I hadn’t played a land and 32 a turn if I had played a land. But my boyfriend was able to drain at least 16-20 life off me per turn with the Cabal Archon “sack-a-Cleric” combo. With all the early-game life gain I had done, he was not able to defeat me entirely, but was able to make my life total yo-yo all over the place. We were both fighting for purchase; he was trying to keep my life total under control, and I was trying to survive until I could get that darned Sanguine Bond, which still hadn’t shown up yet.

Game-Changer: Well of Lost Dreams for 7 Cards

The almost literal stalemate continued for the next few turns. At last, I pulled Well of Lost Dreams; I played it, used Ghost-Lit Redeemer’s ability to gain 8 life, and paid 7 mana to draw 7 cards, since I had been top-decking for most of the game. The long-awaited Sanguine Bond was the first card I drew, and Demonic Tutor was the last, promising a second Sanguine Bond in hand if I could last that long. My life total was now up around 400-500, with my boyfriend’s life total just a little higher. I thought I could make it. πŸ˜‰

Sanguine Bond (x2) for the Win!

Once the first Sanguine Bond was played, I sacked the two Sunspring Expeditions I’d had ready and waiting on the table for most of the game, which created a 32-point life-swap thanks to the double Boon Reflections. That, plus my usual Scepter-Rest combo and a Ghost-Light Redeemer or two gaining me more life, drained him of over 150 life in one turn. Then…well, I managed to retrieve the other Sanguine Bond; though I wasn’t able to play it that turn, I knew next turn would become even stronger, as I gained quadruple life and made him lose quadruple life, twice.

A couple of turns after I played the second Sanguine Bond, it was over, 2 hours after we had started. My ending life total was 894–and that was with my boyfriend draining off 32 every turn for close to 20 turns. :O How high would it have gone if he hadn’t been keeping it down somewhat? The world may never know.

So, using my Sanguine Boon deck, I finally beat my boyfriend’s Zombie Cleric deck…and it only took 2 hours of free time. Ahh, extreme-long-game Magic at its best. πŸ˜€