I catch myself doing it sometimes, and you’ve probably caught yourself doing it too. Judging, gossiping, disapproving, or feeling superior to someone else…and much of it happening within the church, supposedly a haven of compassion, forgiveness, and love.

As one who has spent time both outside the church and inside it, I find this puzzling, but not surprising. We’re all humans, after all, and we make mistakes; we get irritated at each other, say things we shouldn’t, and let darker emotions lead us to make snap decisions about others. But too often, we Christians often act as if we never sin in this manner (because that’s what it is: sin). Instead of forgiving, loving, and showing compassion to other believers within the church (or to nonbelievers outside it), we sometimes show off a more judgmental, self-righteous, and downright isolationist attitude.

Problem #1: Pride

For instance, heated arguments in the church can crop up over the most petty things, like “who gets to direct this ministry,” “what music we worship with/don’t worship with in this church,” “what kind of decorations to use/not use,” etc. And more hurt feelings (and subtle grudges) result from this than we care to admit. We all want recognition for what we’re doing for the church, but sometimes the pursuit of that recognition can obscure the reason WHY we’re doing it.

Sometimes I just want to scream, “What does it matter, as long as it’s for God?” And then I catch myself wanting a solo in the next choir special. It happens to us ALL, even if we’re trying our best to live as God would have us live. Pride and the desire for recognition/praise is a human thing, but I believe it must be battled, especially in the church where our primary intent is to praise God.

Problem #2: Judgmental Thinking

We’ve all thought it at one time: “So-and-so doesn’t belong in MY church. They aren’t like me at all.” There’s that one person whom you just don’t feel comfortable around, who just gets on your nerves. Maybe they’re too casual and loud with their worship, or maybe they look you up and down as if they’ve just judged you and found you lacking. Maybe they don’t dress “right” for church (read: not the way you dress), or maybe they seem like they want to turn the church into a rigid political institution with God just kind of thrown in there somewhere.

When we feel uncomfortable around others, we tend to judge them more harshly. It happens to me just as it happens to other Christians; there have been times when people have said stuff within the church and it just crawls all over me. I wind up thinking, “How can THEY call themselves Christian? How dare they! I’M certainly more Christian than they are!”

And there’s the problem. When we start comparing others to ourselves and finding them lacking in comparison to us, we’ve taken our attention completely away from God. When we focus on how much WE’RE holy and how righteous WE are, we utterly forget to worship God because we’re too busy worshipping ourselves. That’s where judgmental thinking really comes from, and it’s an insidious little thing that creeps into everyone’s mind at some time.

Problem #3: Isolationism

Have you ever noticed that we Christians can function as a rather insular group? Sometimes it feels, at least to me, as if churches are less like worship centers and more like exclusive social clubs, where you have to have a special password to even get in the door, and when you get in, everybody is divided up into little cliques that don’t really talk to each other.

I agree that it is important to surround yourself with other Christians, especially if you’re new to the faith, so that you don’t fall back into sinful lifestyles and habits. But sometimes we go a little too far to the other extreme, even refusing to talk to or hang out with people because they “aren’t Christian,” as if being in the presence of nonbelievers will somehow “taint” us.

Jesus Himself caused a little controversy when He went to eat with Zacchaeus the tax collector (Luke 19:1-9). People begun to rumble about Jesus “[going] to be the guest of a sinner” (NIV translation). But Jesus, in this instance and many others, went to people who didn’t necessarily believe in Him yet, breaking bread with them and being with them. And most often, His very presence among them and His serene, compassionate attitude changed their hearts. Why, then, do we Christians sometimes act as if we’re too “holy” or “righteous” to go among nonbelievers, when the Son of God was not afraid to do so?

Coming from my own experience, I believe that most of the answer lies in our human desire for comfort and familiarity. Doing things that are new and challenging requires courage and deep-rooted security in oneself, and I can definitely say I lack that in most areas of my life. I don’t feel qualified to verbally witness to others, for instance, because I can’t quote chapter and verse off the top of my head (I had to take quite a while to look up the passages I just referenced in the last paragraph, for instance). And I’m sure I’m not the only Christian who has these secret fears; sometimes we don’t reach out to nonbelievers because we are afraid of rejection, anger, or being caught without knowledge.

However, the other side of the issue must be addressed, too–when we have already judged someone else harshly for being a nonbeliever, we are more likely to be unfriendly to them. Is that what Jesus would have us do? I can tell you from personal experience that some of the harshest people I’ve ever been around have also been very rigidly Christian–so rigid in their faith, in fact, that I thought they would splinter apart if they moved a fraction of an inch. They were hard to get to know and harder to talk to about faith; everything I talked about, it seemed, met with a disapproving glare or frown. Is it any wonder less people are interested in Christianity, if this is the only face of Christianity they ever see?

Jesus’ example, however, shows us all that sometimes all we need to be is compassionate and approachable. Shyness or visual signs of disapproval can only further isolate us as Christians from the world. I’m not saying we go to every rough-and-tumble bar, knock a few back, and end up falling out of our own faith practice, but we do need to go where people need to hear about Jesus, and we do need to share about Jesus in a personal, gentle manner. And, after all, who are we more likely to be friendly with–a stranger who doesn’t talk to us at all, a stranger who stares daggers at us, or a stranger who smiles, talks and laughs with us?

Summary

I think these three big problems really hurt the Christian church and its perception in the secular world, as well as hurting worship and feelings between believers. Pride, judgmental attitudes, and isolationism are hard to root out–believe me, I know, since I’ve been trying to expunge such behavior from my own life. But I truly believe we as Christians will be better examples of Jesus’ teachings if we strive to be as forgiving, compassionate, and loving as He taught.