Nevermore, from Innistrad, and its predecessor, Meddling Mage (from way back in Planeshift), are both great cards in tournaments, highly competitive, especially against combo decks that rely on specific cards. When you are able to flatly outlaw a card from being played, that gives your deck a chance to catch up or a chance to nip the opponent’s strategy in the bud.

But notice I said “good in tournaments;” these two cards are part of a very competitive strategy. That doesn’t mean these and other cards like them are good in casual play.

Or rather, cards like these are TOO GOOD for casual play. Playing this kind of card against your M:TG-playing friends, when you know their decks almost as well as you know yours, is an unfair advantage at best, and a complete friend-trouncing move at worst.

When Winning Takes the Place of Friendship in Your Life

Winning Magic games (or any other kind of game, for that matter) is fine–everybody likes to win, everybody likes to feel good about themselves. But when your wins start superseding your friendships and your relationships with other people, you need to rethink how dependent your self-worth is on winning.

I’ve played against literally dozens of people in Magic, and I find that the most fun I have is with people who aren’t playing just to win. When the opponent’s conversation consists entirely of their moves, or bragging about how well their deck is doing, I get impatient for the game to end. “Don’t you have anything else to talk about, any humanity at all?” I find myself wondering in these games. “Or are you just some soulless Magic beast who finds fun in trashing others?”

Unfortunately, for many competitive players, an obviously-one-sided game IS fun to them, while it’s not very much fun for the other player. The “competitive player” type I’m describing is the kind who just can’t snap out of the competitive mode even while playing “friendly” games. Thus, they bring their cutthroat attitude to a table where it is decidedly NOT welcome. They ruin casual games with their 5-turn-win optimized decks and then walk off, leaving the atmosphere of camaraderie in tatters. Who wants to play more Magic after being soundly whipped at it? Certainly not this girl.

The Consequences of Playing “Hardcore” Competitive Magic

Playing Nevermore, Meddling Mage, and other “game-changing” competitive cards can lead to unintended strife between Magic buddies, leading to an eventual loss of opponents to play against.

For instance, it’s gotten to the point where I don’t like playing against my own boyfriend’s Blue/White counter deck because of its Meddling Mages–if he drops one of those, I know he’ll outlaw one of the cards that makes my deck run, because he knows my decks so well. At that point, I might as well just give up, because my deck isn’t going to run the way I designed it to, and I don’t like being controlled like that. Magic is not fun for me when my strategy is rendered absolutely unplayable, and I’d wager other Magic players feel the same way sometimes.

Thankfully, my boyfriend understands how frustrated those kinds of cards make me, and he doesn’t play them all the time. Therein lies the difference, between a person who knows how to scale back his playing to a friendlier level, and people who wouldn’t know what a real “friendly” game was if it bit them in an uncomfortable bodily region.

When someone who has a “hardcore” Magic playing style shows up, casual players cringe. We know what we’re in for–we’re just going to have to lie back and think of England while they’re getting their jollies. We have to wait for them to be done so we can go on to something else that IS fun, with someone else who isn’t acting like a feminine cleaning product. I hate to put it in such blunt terms, but there it is; competitive Magic has its place, and it’s not in my living room nor in my recreation time.

And, once they’ve alienated the casual players in the play group, other competitive players will likely be next to go, as strategies get even more cutthroat and even more “uber-powerful.” Soon enough, nobody will bother even sitting down at the table across from them, because the ending is a foregone conclusion. I’ve seen it happen a few times, and heard of it happening even more times; playing too competitively and focusing on winning alone can and will destroy friendships and entire Magic playing groups over time.

Are You Addicted to Winning and Forgetting Your Friendships?

If you’re a competitive Magic player and have found your play group steadily dwindling, you might be unintentionally suffering from win addiction. Or, perhaps this article has proven to be more of a mirror than you ever expected. Ask yourself: is winning every single Magic game you sit down to really necessary to prove you’re a “pro?” Can you really not let go of competition long enough to just enjoy being with your friends and seeing their strategies work as well as your own?

If you can’t, then maybe you’re investing too much worth in your “pro” status, and less of your worth in the relationships you forge. Humans are social creatures, after all–this is why Magic: the Gathering succeeds the way it does. When you have no one to play against, the game loses much of its luster. Too many un-fun games, and you’ll find yourself out of opponents. No one wants to play a game they’re destined to lose, and no one wants to play against someone who can’t afford to lose a game.

I’m not saying that competitive Magic is “of the devil,” nor am I saying that competitive Magic should be excised completely from the game’s structure. It’s just that all the hardcore stuff has to be balanced with easier-going games, where the stakes aren’t driven up artificially high and the opponents are people who will go and get pizza together after this last round.

How to Recognize When Your Opponent is Not Having Fun

As a type of summary to this article, I provide two handy checklists (not entirely comedic, either). The first is for “reading” your opponent when you’re stomping them in a Magic game; the second is how to soften up your play and make it easier to bear, if not easier to win against.

You Know Your Opponent Is Not Having Fun When…

• Their turns are quick: “Untap, upkeep, draw…pass.”
• They aren’t talking unless you’re asking them something directly, when before the game they were talking animatedly.
• There’s a certain glazed, dead look in their eyes, and their shoulders are as deeply hunched as if they want to disappear down into their chair.
• The only time they look happy or excited is when someone outside the game asks them what they’re doing after they finish this game.
• There are multiple player errors, done out of indifference rather than ignorance: “Oh, I just mistapped that land. Oh well.”
• They haven’t looked you in the face since turn 2.
• They finish your sentence when you play the final move that kills them–some, like me, might even add a bitter “Good” afterwards, such as “Yeah, yeah, I take 19 and that kills me. Good.”

If You See Any of These Signs…

• Ask them what their strategy is about; if you’ve been stomping or controlling them, you probably haven’t seen their strategy at its best.
• Actually listen to the answer, don’t just dismiss it as “inferior”.
• Directly apologize if the game is clearly one-sided in your favor: “I shouldn’t have played this deck against you–sorry, this one’s my competitive deck.” This wins a lot of points with casual gamers, take it from me. It means you realize how much of a pain it’s been to play you.
• If it’s truly a casual game, tell your opponent the key cards in your deck to beat; this makes you less of an uber-gamer and more human.
• Take pressure off the current game by asking them what their favorite cards, colors, card art, creature abilities, etc. are. Talk Magic theory with them.Express interest in their trade collection. Super-competitive gamers playing casual gamers usually complete their conquest and leave like a man sneaking out after a one-night stand; staying around, even just for a few minutes to look at their tradebook, might help them get over the game and see you as a potential new friend.